Wicked Games
by TheLastOfThem
Summary: "I figured that my heart was made up of rusted chains and barbed wire. It doesn't beat anymore, just hums occasionally." Majoring in English, Jade West is given an assignment she doesn't think she could write, let alone ever experience again. Thankfully a certain brunette stumbled into her life to give a bit of inspiration. Jade/Tori/College. Slight AU
1. Mystery Woman

**Jori will live on in our hearts and for some of you crazy people, in your pants. THERE IS NO SHAME.**

**This story is only told through Jade's point of view, its all Jadey baby.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, Nickelodeon does! If I did then we would have to put it late at night and have viewer discretion ads for just the commercials. Bow chicka wow wow.**

* * *

"That was _**amazing.**_" What's-her-face commented, her body slick with sweat and sex. I just grin arrogantly and shrug my shoulders; sex was sex, not much to it.

"You should get going." She pouts pathetically and makes a whining noise in the back of her throat; I stay silent, resisting the urge to roll my eyes.

"Aww, come on Jadelyn! I'm tired." I shrug my shoulders again, not bothering to appease her in any other way than I already have. I casually lean back on my elbows and watch her untangle herself from the sheets. She glares half-heartedly at me, dressing at a pace that only led me to believe that she's done this before. Which she probably has.

"Don't bother calling me for a one night stand again Jadelyn, we're done!" She shrieks, her dull blue eyes staring me down.

I scoff and run my hands through my loose curls, "Kay." She stomps out of the guest room and slams my apartment door.

She'll be back, they always come back.

I stretch out before quietly getting off the bed and heading to my room, I never let anyone else sleep in my bed, not since _**she**_ left. I scowl at the king sized bed covered in black satin sheets and walk into my bathroom, turning on the shower and stepping into the scorching hot water. I hiss at the contact before lathering a generous amount of Cherry blossom shampoo in my hair, I scrub hard and let my head rest on the cool tile wall. Behind closed curtains _**she's**_ here, and like an invasion it takes over, I'm powerless.

Crimson red hair, happy dark brown eyes and adorable bubbly giggles run in the darkest corner of my mind, the one part I keep farthest from my conscience. I shut my eyes tight and struggle to keep the constricting of my chest bearable, a dry sob emits from my lips and I slam my palm on the wall. I can hear _**her**_ so clearly, I can remember her every breath, every shudder and whisper through parted lips. It isn't a memory; it's a suffocating reminder of soft pleas and happy sighs, dainty fingers that busied themselves with thrumming along a song and secretive smiles behind dusty novels.

I don't know what I want more, to shut off my brain or take a knife to my chest in hopes that if my heart has something more painful to worry about then it'll be a bit easier to cope.

"_I just don't know how to love you. I'm sorry."_

"_B-but I love you! I can show you."_

"_Jade, I can't."_

"_Fine."_

"_Jade…"_

"_Leave, just leave."_

I vigorously shook my head and washed out the shampoo painfully, my hands threading into the roots in anger. Anger at the vulnerability, the loss, the pain and the resentment that took refuge in my chest. I just want it all to go away, all of it just to swirl around the shower drain and just disappear. I sighed loudly and finished up in the shower, dragging myself through my bedroom in frustration.

I pulled on a dark pair of skinny jeans, a white ribbed tank top and a leather jacket before stuffing my feet in combat boots and grabbing my keys. After graduating high school I dyed my hair all one solid color, black. I usually let it curl nicely down my back, putting it up in a high ponytail when working out and occasionally straightening it when bored. I missed the colored streaks, but they reminded me too much of old times, I couldn't bear to redo them. I waved at my neighbor and took the elevator, I spotted my car as I exited and smiled widely. The 1970 Plymouth Hemi 'Cuda sitting patiently for me, shimmering onyx and seemingly dangerous, it reminded me of a caged animal, and I loved it. I let out a giddy breath as I drove off towards Hollywood Arts University.

* * *

"Exceptional short story Jade, I was enthralled at the use of personification and the depth of your characters. I loved the plot twist as well, but if I may ask, why did you do it? We both know that you could've easily steered clear of that and still earned an A." Professor Casey asked, her smile intrigued and questioning. The Creative writing Professor was a short woman who had graying blonde hair, a small pair of black glasses and small intelligent brown eyes. She was my favorite Professor by far.

"Well think about it, if Heather had been the one to get her happy ending then everyone else would've suffered for something they couldn't understand. Sacrifice isn't always by choice, I wanted to expose that. Everyone should be subjectively equal in heartbreak, sorrow and any other forms of pain. Life isn't made up of winners, we all lose, those who get up are the ones that make the difference. No one is perfectly happy, it's practically impossible. Happy endings come at a price, and if they don't then I don't think they're real." I explained carefully, brown eyes studied me in understanding and I smiled weakly.

"I see, well you do know about the final project for this term right?" I nodded, "I want you to write a short story, and this time no more thrillers, horrors or mysteries," I raised an eyebrow at that and motioned her to continue, "I want this short story to be based on the ideals of love, I want a romance."

My jaw dropped and I blinked a few times before regaining my composure, "If you don't mind me asking Professor, why did you pick romance specifically for me? I know you've been focusing on strengthening our weaknesses but giving me something so foreign to my writing genre is a tad cruel."

"Jade, you're a brilliant writer. Between you and me, you're the best that has ever stepped through this classroom. I want you to expand your horizons; I want you to grow into the talent you posses. Even Edgar Allan Poe dabbled on some romance, and well, look at his writing. If you need any help I'll be here for you, good luck." And with that she walked away, I just stared at my hands.

Was I capable of writing something I had no belief in? Love was poison; it tainted and stained everything with horrid shades of grey, it marred relationships and drastically severed friendships. How could anyone believe in something so… mundane? I made a disapproving sound and picked up my leather messenger bag, sliding in my laptop and tucking my Anne Rice novel under my arm.

* * *

I headed to the student parking lot, I was having caffeine withdrawals and I desperately needed some coffee. A ringing sound pierced the air and I pulled out my PearPhone, "What?"

"Love the way you greet your phone Jade." A deep voice grumbled in annoyance, I smirked at the tone.

"Me too, what's up? Finally coming out of the closet?"

"I'm not into dudes!"

"They say the first step is to admit—"A grunt interrupted me and I snickered into the phone.

"Shut up." I hummed in warning, "Come to the Café, I want to talk to you."

Mmm, Coffee. "Alright, I'm on my way. See you there Beck." I hastily hung up and hopped into my car, I started the engine and turned the radio on without hesitation.

I sang along to 'The XX' and cruised down the streets in sleek precision, the Café was a decent sized place with mouth watering coffee and a small stage for undiscovered singers. It was a quaint scene, soulful and lively at the same time.

I parked in front of the Café and walked in, I greeted the owner and he motioned me over. "Jade! I haven't seen you here in a while, buried in homework?"

"You have no idea Joe, College is hard. You should give me this restaurant so I can quit." I smirked playfully while he bellowed out a laugh.

"Tell you what, when you become a famous author I'll let you buy this place."

I stuck out my hand and shook his roughly, "You got yourself a deal, see you later Joe!"

I spotted a mop of dark brown hair and sat in front of him, picking up the coffee that already lay steaming in front of my chair.

"Hey Oliver."

"Hi Jade."

"So… you wanted to talk?" I glanced at him in an attempt to gauge his expression but he just remained stoic and indifferent.

"I need a favor—"

I waved him off, "Done."

"You haven't even heard what I wanted it yet! It could be something crazy like kidnapping a tiger."

I chuckled at his outburst and leaned back on my chair, "Is it kidnapping a tiger?"

"Huh? What, well, no."

"Then I'll do it."

"Jade, let me at least tell you what I need." Beck pleaded, his hands raking through his model worthy hair in nervousness.

"Fine what is it?"

"My cousin transferred colleges and she needs a place to stay, you have three bedrooms and I was wondering if she could stay with you. Temporarily of course."

As much as I valued my alone time and privacy, Beck was my best friend and that can only mean that his cousin isn't half bad. I groaned and nodded my head silently. Beck opened his mouth to scream his thanks but I cut him off with my raised hand.

"Does she know I'm a lesbian?"

"Oh, uh, yeah. The thing is that she's somewhat bisexual so it doesn't really matter."

I scratched my head in thought, "Somewhat?"

Beck just nodded not bothering to indulge me any further.

The lights dimmed and my attention was stolen by a woman basking in the spotlight, waves of chestnut colored hair flowed over her red sweater, wide brown eyes glanced around timidly and my eyes traced over bronze colored skin greedily. She was stunning with a guitar strapped to her chest and her slender fingers firmly gripping the Microphone.

"Hi, my name is Tori Vega and I'd love to sing something for you guys."

I expected something like Britney Spears, Rihanna or Lady Gaga but what came out had me rooted to the seat in awe.

_I left my girl back home_  
_I don't love her no more_  
_And she'll never fucking know that_  
_These fucking eyes that I'm staring at_  
_Let me see that ass_  
_Look at all this cash_  
_And I emptied out my cards to her_  
_Now I'm fucking leaning on that_

_Bring your love baby I could bring my shame_  
_Bring the drugs baby I could bring my pain_  
_I got my heart right here_  
_I got my scars right here_  
_Bring the cups baby I could bring the drank_  
_Bring your body baby I could bring you fame_  
_And that's my motherfucking words too_  
_Just let me motherfucking love you_

_Listen ma I'll give you all I got_  
_Get me off of this_  
_I need confidence in myself_  
_Listen ma I'll give you all of me_  
_Give me all of it_  
_I need all of it to myself_

_So tell me you love me_  
_Only for tonight_  
_Only for one night_  
_Even though you don't love me_  
_Just tell me you love me_  
_I'll give you what I need_  
_I'll give you all of me_  
_Even though you don't love me_

_Let me see you dance_  
_I love to watch you dance_  
_Take you down another level_  
_And get you dancing with the devil_  
_Take a shot of this_  
_But I'm warning you_  
_I'm on that shit that you can't smell baby_  
_So put down your perfume_

_Bring your love baby I could bring my shame_  
_Bring the drugs baby I could bring my pain_  
_I got my heart right here_  
_I got my scars right here_  
_Bring the cups baby I could bring the drank_  
_Bring your body baby I could bring you fame_  
_And that's my motherfucking word too_  
_So let me motherfucking love you_

_Listen ma I'll give you all I got_  
_Get me off of this_  
_I need confidence in myself_  
_Listen ma I'll give you all of me_  
_Give me all of it_  
_I need all of it to myself_

_So tell me you love me_  
_Only for tonight_  
_Only for one night_  
_Even though you don't love me_  
_Just tell me you love me_  
_I'll give you what I need_  
_I'll give you all of me_  
_Even though you don't love me_

Who was this chick? And why did I desperately want to know everything about her?

* * *

**For those who don't know what song that is, it's called "Wicked Games by Coeur De Pirate." I love that version. Click the review button and leave your thoughts while I indulge myself in this apple. I fucking love apples.**


	2. Roomies with Boobies

**SHOUT OUT TO THE HOMIES. Keep on thugin. *Snaps in Z formation***

**While writing this I was listening to "Daddy Why Did You Eat My Fries" by Marceline the Vampire Queen from Adventure time. Why you ask? Because well, fries. Duh**

**Disclaimer: Yup, I still don't own Victorious, Nickelodeon doesn't want to share. I have no clue why, I mean, like, I have jokes. I can make funnies….**

* * *

I take a sip of my coffee and watch the mystery woman nervously thank everyone before leaving the stage. I follow every step she takes with interest, this overwhelming urge to get to know her makes its way into my subconscious and I fight to stay seated. I glance at Beck and he looks at the girl with something akin to pride and I raise my eyebrows in confusion.

"So when do I meet your cousin?" I ask in an attempt to distract myself, Beck stares at me like I'm some three eyed nut and rolls his eyes.

I scowl in confusion, why is he looking at me like that? "You idiot she's—"

"Hey Beck!" A cheery voice interrupts him and I turn to yell at the intruder but it dies on my lips as my eyes find the figure. _**Oh.**_

Mystery woman is engaging with Beck in something I vaguely remember being called as a hug - yup- that's a hug. Why are they hugging, oh fuck is this his girlfriend?! Lucky bastard.

"Jade, this is my cousin Tori Vega. Tori, this is your new, official roommate." I felt my jaw slack and tighten in shock. Beck looks eerily smug, like he knows something I don't. Then it falters slightly, his eyebrows digging down over his nose in… agitation?

I shrug it off and turn my attention back to his cousin. Her brown eyes are gorgeous, but what else is new? She's looking at me oddly, her eyes raking over my body slowly before settling on my face, I smirk at her and she blushes. It's adorable, really. Adorable? Next thing you know I'll be calling things cute, someone poisoned my coffee with loopy shit.

"Nice to meet you, glad you aren't a psycho." I joke playfully, and eww, what's wrong with me?

Tori laughed, and oh yeah, I guess I'm pretty funny. "Yeah we wouldn't want that. Thanks so much for doing this; really, I was going crazy." I wave her words away and give her a smile.

Beck glances between us with a dopey smile, I have the sudden urge to strangle him but I don't want Tori thinking I'm some crazy wazz. Wait. I don't care what other people think, what's one more person judging me? "Beck—"

"Hello!" A high pitched voice cuts me off, is it 'Interrupt Jade Day' or something? I turn to a petite woman who is wearing a miniskirt that is _**way**_ too short saunter over with a sickening sweet smile. Her light brown hair is cut delicately to her shoulders and her blue eyes smolder at the sight of me, I smile politely and keep my eyes on her face.

"Hey…" Shit I forgot her name. Wait, have I ever even met her before? Note to self, write list of women I've ever slept with.

She captures her lips between her teeth and I groan slightly. Not the lip biting, damn, I love the lip biting. "My names Cher, I just wanted to meet the stunning lady everyone on campus drools over."

I laugh lightly, "Thanks, but I'm sure that's not true. There's plenty of beautiful women on campus, must have me mistaken."

She pulls out a scrap piece of paper and hands it to me, fingers brush fingers and her gaze locks seductively with mine, "Trust me, I'm not mistaken, "a lick of the lips draws me to her mouth, "Call me." With that she walks away and I put the number in my pocket.

"How do you do that?" Beck asks dryly and somewhat amazed.

"It's that West charm and apparently the help of some lovely gossip."

Tori coughs and scratches the back of her neck with a frown, "Mind me showing the apartment?" Tori bites out tightly and I'm taken back at the hostility of it.

"Sure," I pat Becks shoulder and give him a quick goodbye, taking the Styrofoam cup of coffee with me. Tori gives a curt nod to Beck and his eyes narrow slightly. "Everything alright Vega?"

We head outside and I pull my leather jacket closer to my body, Vega gives me a small smile, "Did you just call me Vega? How odd, everyone calls me Tori…" I pretend not to notice her disregard to my question.

I open the passenger seat for her, "I'm not like everyone besides Vega is…" _**less intimate, less personal**_, "cool." I tell her while closing the door and heading to the driver's seat. I get in and receive the ever satisfying growl of the engine. I drive out of the parking lot and turn on my PearPod, The Narrative plays in the background as I weave through the streets. The car ride is silent, I don't mind it but I catch Vega giving me side glances every once and a while that leaves me curious. It's like she's trying to figure me out, looking for something that's not there, like she knows something I don't. It makes me irritated and I grip the steering wheel firmly. The rest of the car ride is left with me tense and her eyes peering at me intently.

We make it to the tall building, Vega gasping at it and scanning the place with wide eyes. I reach over the backseat and grab her bag, insisting that I take it up. The trek to the room is amusing with Vega chattering and gasping in awe at every little sight.

I turn the key in the door knob and wink at Vega before opening it. I let her in first and flicker on the lights. The living room area is neatly arrayed with its leather couches facing the large plasma and under the TV rests the fireplace. To the right side, the kitchen is colored in soft browns while the marble counter is colored in lighter tones and the appliances are a stainless steel. The rest of the apartment is decorated with bookshelves and art pieces, my baby grand piano sits alongside my huge collection of albums and trinkets. I show Vega her bedroom and she thanks me continuously while I shrug it off.

"This place is amazing! It must've cost you a bucket load! I mean, like, wow!" Vega coos as she takes in everything with a happy smile.

"Yeah, it's considered a college present from my dad." I answer truthfully.

Vega whirls her head towards me, "What does your dad do?"

I shuffle my feet in grim anticipation and prepare for the inevitable behavior change, "He is the founder and CEO of West Music Enterprise."

Vega just nods, "Cool." My mouth drops open in surprise and I grin widely at her. Usually whenever someone knows who my dad is they go crazy and try too hard to gain my friendship. That's the main reason I keep my circle of friends small, that and my attitude rivals a snakes.

"So why the obsession with scissors?" Vega points out the rack of scissors in the corner and I smile sadly.

"My dad always said life was about cutting your losses, snipping away anything that wasn't practical or important to his standards. Guess you could call it some weird symbolism. It's why he hates the fact that I'm majoring in English." I chuckle darkly.

Vega shakes her head and reaches for my hand; but I pull back and look away uncomfortably. "It's not weird." She whispers and I offer a smirk in truce. "So roommate, how big are you on music?"

"I bet I love it more than you." I tease as her eyes narrow in challenge.

"Bet you don't."

"You're on Vega."

* * *

**LETS GET THIS FRIENDSHIP ON DEVELOPMENT. AND BY DEVELOPMENT I MEAN KISS YOU DAMN WHINERS. Tori and Jade never listen to me, stubborn bastards -.- Next chapter we find out why Tori sang the song "Wicked Games" and yes that holds a sense of importance. I don't just toss songs in there for nothing! **


	3. Word of the day is Stupid

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, Nickelodeon does. Which is bullshit because I know that Elizabeth Gillies is totally hot for me. It's cool, I'll wait till she's ready. And then I will gently let her down and explain that I am straight, which she will then seduce me and I will be forever gay with her. **

**Eat that shit FANFICTION.**

**Oh, Jade and Tori have been living together for like a week, just throwing that out there.**

* * *

Stupid.

That's the only word that can describe the mega load of _**stupidity**_ that is this damn assignment. "_Write a love story" she says, "it'll broaden your horizons and make you a better writer," she says. _Well she can suck a nonexistent dick because love stories officially suck. Suck I tell you!

"You're snarling and tapping the desk like a rabid animal," Vega waltzes in with a mango in hand, "I'm assuming that you have major writers block?"

"Fuck, no. I don't get writers block. This genre of literature is just utterly… stupid." I growl out as I swivel my chair in her direction. Her cheeks are puffed up as she chews the piece of fruit, her lips covered in juice, how easily I can just place my tongue and lick it and oh god—

"Jade?"

"Huh, what?" Roommates are off limits, keep the sexual thoughts at bay Jade! Besides she's related to your best friend and she doesn't need someone like you sniffing around her like a piece of meat.

"I asked if you needed some help. I'm not the best writer but I can probably add in some input or something."

I push my hair back and sigh softly, "I wish it was that easy but it seems that the only thing I have is the title. Stupid romance. Why couldn't I get Sci-Fi, aliens are pretty fucking rad."

"What's the title?" Vega giggles.

"Wicked Games," I smirk at her stunned expression and bite my lip to keep from laughing, not wanting to embarrass her further. "Your song stuck with me. By the way, why did you sing that? From what I gather, at least, from the small amount of time I've known you, you seem a little to clean cut for that song."

Vega scowls and chews on her mango before swallowing loudly, the sound vibrating in her throat as she hums in delight and thought.

"Singing that song was just way to express the dark side of love. The idea of unrequited love always saddened me y'know? The sheer vulnerability of having someone not love you, the same way you love them, is heartbreaking. It's like standing on top of a speeding freight train. You barely register that it's going to go bad and you know you'll fly off, but the ride is amazing, it's exciting and there's nothing like it. But when you finally crash its like reality snapping into place and you just hit the ground so hard that you forget to breath and all around you are a bunch of small pieces of your heart. Maybe you learn to love again, or maybe you just give up but no one can honestly regret the bittersweet taste of being in love, because they had that moment, that chance to be something sought out for." Vega looks down, and I choke silently on my tears as red hair flashes in my mind. Her eyes remain on the floor, missing my reaction and I take a second to compose myself.

_Listen ma I'll give you all of me_  
_Give me all of it_  
_I need all of it to myself_

_So tell me you love me_  
_Only for tonight_  
_Only for one night_  
_Even though you don't love me_  
_Just tell me you love me_  
_I'll give you what I need_  
_I'll give you all of me_  
_Even though you don't love me_

I understand and I sing the verse with a sad smile, my eyes trained on hers, silently begging for her to look back at me. When she does I offer her a smile and motion my head to the side. "Want to get out of here?"

A genuine tugs on the corner of her lips and i feel momentarily proud of it, "Yes, thanks Jade."

* * *

I watch the sun settle on the horizon, it brightens the ocean and the sky shines in an array of orange, yellow and red. It's highlighting the beauty of everything it touches, every sun ray hitting the beach with lovely shades of light. Vega sits across of me, her bronze skin glowing healthily, her eyes a pretty amber color against the glare and her lips pulled back into a wide smile. It hits me how much she intrigues me, she's so different from anyone else I've encountered. All nice and, no wait— she's pure, real. Unrelenting, stubborn but passionate and determined.

She Majors in Music with an emphasis of Vocal Performance, her dream is to sing, not for the fame or the money but the enjoyment she has for all things music related. Her voice is rich, soulful, the kind that makes you want to just sit there and hear her for all eternity. It captures your attention, mauls your thoughts and you can only succumb to the sound that is just a special blend of Tori Vega.

"Jade?"

"Uhh yeah?"

Vega scoffs and crosses her arms, pouting adorably. And by adorable I mean like scissors, cause scissors are awesome… Don't judge. "I don't know what it is about writers but you always seem to be spaced out. What goes on in that creative mind of yours?"

"Magic. I'm a wizard, obviously. Except I commit crimes like flicking off nuns and flashing pastors with my magic powers, nothing too bad." I muse thoughtfully. "Badass level achieved."

"Magic? 'Kay, whatever you say Harry Potter."

A teasing smile spreads across my face, "That's not funny; my Hogwarts letter still hasn't arrived."

Vega laughs and I smile wider, "What a shame! I hope it comes soon so I could keep the apartment all to myself. Finally I can put some decent music on; instead of those horrible tunes you call 'Music'.

"You know you like 'The XX' don't even lie. My taste in music is fantastic. And so is my taste in Movies, just throwing it out there."

"Yeah right! All you have is a bunch of horror movies, and don't think I haven't noticed 'The Scissoring' directors edition on your shelf. You've probably watched that movie a thousand times."

"A thousand and one thank you very much." I wink.

"You have problems," Vega grumbles.

I smirk and innocently sing, "But a bitch ain't one." Vega flicks a French fry at me and I gasp in mock surprise. "Wow, never pegged you for the 1st grade flirt type. Are you going to spread glue on my seat next and call me cootie queen?" I dodge another French fry and chuckle at her crimson blush.

"Jade!" Shit, that sounds like someone familiar. I look past Vega and my eyes scan over a sexy brunette. Her hair reaches her waist in princess curls, her enormous smile is blinding and her dark doe eyes rake slowly over me.

"Hi…"

"Lane," She pouts pathetically and places a hand on her hip, "Don't you remember me Jade," she walks over and leans near my ear, her hot breath splaying across my ears. "You cornered me at Nightclub Spice and fucked me in a secluded area; I screamed your name so loud the DJ thought someone was being murdered. I came three times in under 15 minutes; you're a fucking sex goddess." Oh shit, that was hot. I remember that, though I was pretty plastered.

"So did you want something or…?" I said fluidly, containing the natural husky tone of my voice due to my arousal.

"I was wondering if we could go to your place and have some _**fun**_," her eyes settle on Vega before turning to me "Unless you're busy…"

"Sorry—"I start, wanting to get rid of her so I can continue hanging out with Vega.

"She's not busy; I have to go over my friend's house anyway. See you later Jade." Vega grabs her purse hastily and I frown at her abruptness. A pang of hurt drums on my chest as her figure retreats, growing smaller with distance. Whatever it's not like she thinks of me more than a friend. But I don't get it, is she bothered by me being gay? Beck said she was kind of bisexual, too bad I don't know what the hell he means! I turn toward Lane and grab her hand, dragging her to the car. Maybe some release will help me think a bit better.

I shake my head, _**Girls.**_

* * *

**ARRGGGHHH I BE A PIRATE. Gimme some booty?**

**Jade stop being such a hoe, we all know that Tori is mad jealous. Jealous that your sexiness is occupado with other hoes. **

**You should all click the button that says review, just tell me anything. It can be something cool like "Wow you suck." or "TITS OR GTFO." and maybe some "I want Jade with a dick." Yeah, that sounds nice. So get on to the clicking.**


	4. Cereal Killer

**Aww, you guys make me blush and I get all these mushy feelings inside. **

**STOP THAT. **

**I have a rep to uphold, I can't be smiling all the time. How do I explain my full blown smile and red cheeks to my basketball coach? TELL ME. He made me run two miles for excessive happiness. The Basketball Captain position isn't earned with smiles, its earned with BLOOD, SWEAT and TEARS (Also, the occasional blackmail and bribery.)**

**But don't stop the reviews; you guys are actually pretty fucking awesome. And for those who don't like Jade, well… what the doodle flippy shit? There's more to her than just getting her 'bow chicka wow' on. And we will get to that.**

**Eventually.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, Nickelodeon does. But I plan on ruling the world by making everyone fall in love with me, so… yeah. BTW, MC, Elizabeth Gillies will be mine. I shall seduce her with my rain dance; it worked on the giraffes so it'll work on her. FUCK YO PUPPIES AND PIE.**

* * *

I walked Jane or Cain to my door and held it open for her; she offered me a satisfied wink and took a step outside. It was around eleven at night and I had classes early in the morning, can't let myself drop the 4.0 GPA I worked for.

"Nice seeing yah Jane." I waved her off as she wobbled in a daze to the elevator.

"My names Lane."

"Same difference," I shrugged.

"Call me!" She yelled desperately as her fingers prodded the elevator impatiently.

I shook my head, "Nah, bye though!" I closed the door with a slam and walked to the kitchen in sleep shorts and a tank. I pulled my hair in a messy bun and stuck a random pencil through it to keep the bun up; I hummed and went rummaging through my food pantry. Nothing impressed me enough to eat so I went to the fridge and scanned the shelves. Still nothing, so I simply walked back to the pantry and lowered my standards. College life is splendid like that.

I pulled out some random cereal and gathered milk and a bowl; I poured in the cereal and sang Holecene by Bon Iver while I grabbed a spoon.

_"Someway, baby, it's part of me, apart from me"  
You're laying waste to Halloween  
You fucked it friend, it's on it's head, it struck the street  
You're in Milwaukee, off your feet_

_And at once I knew I was not magnificent_  
_Strayed above the highway aisle_  
_Jagged vacance, thick with ice_  
_And I could see for miles, miles, miles_

"I didn't think you liked Bon Iver." A voice interrupted me; I whirled around and spilled some milk on my shorts. Cursing I grabbed a cloth behind me and tried miserably to dry myself. I looked up and scowled at Vega, not at all pleased to see her.

"Would you rather I sing 'Hot N Cold' by Katy Perry it seems rather appropriate, don't yah think?" I narrowed my eyes in challenge and began to sing.

_You're hot then you're cold  
You're yes then you're no  
You're in then you're out  
You're up and you're down_

_Someone call the doctor_  
_Got a case of a love bipolar_  
_Stuck on a rollercoaster_  
_Can't get off this ride_

"Are you insinuating something Jade?" Vega snapped indignantly, her arms placed at hip level and I snorted attractively.

"Me? Insinuate anything? Why, I would never do something as horrid as that!" I mocked loudly; I took hold of the spoon and shoveled cereal into my mouth. Vega mumbled something along the lines of "Ducking Boomate." how odd, I wonder what that means.

Vega took the cereal box from my possession and I growled in agitation, the girl took my cereal! Next she'll get my coffee and drink it in front of me! Blasphemy I tell you.

Vega stuck her hand in the box and scooped some cereal into her mouth, oh hell no!

"You can't eat cereal like that Vega, it's inhumane! Unnatural, an anomaly of sorts! I'm going to cut you with scissors one day," I ranted off for another ten minutes on the importance of proper cereal eating and quieted down once she finished off the box. She raised an eyebrow at me and frowned, her brown eyes studying me intently, once again. "Stop looking at me like that."

Ignoring my threat she tilted her head and furrowed her eyebrows, "Were you suggesting that I was Bipolar earlier?"

Just like that a Devil appeared on my right shoulder and an Angel appeared on my left, the devil laughed evilly, "Just lie to her, let her honor the Britney Spear Syndrome, Bipolar and all."

The Angel shook its head and gently prodded my neck, "Be honest with her Jade, becoming her friend is a step closer to bettering yourself."

Become Vega's friend? Vega was intriguing, amusing, gorgeous and utterly spectacular. I could honestly say that I really liked her. And not in the 'I'd sleep with you and leave you but I'd definitely wouldn't let it be just a one night stand way,' but in the 'I'd love to be your friend, it's a nice change compared to the losers that inhabit this planet way'.

On the downside she does seem a bit wary with my sexuality, though, hers is somewhat confusing. Every time a girl comes by she tenses up and makes an abrupt get away.

I scratched my head roughly and glanced at Vega, her beautiful face saddened and hurt by my long silence.

"Tori, I…" God, I'm bad at these feeling things. Being so closed off has its problems. "I didn't mean to say you're bipolar, it's just you always seem to be juggling between happy and mad when we hang out. At least, anytime a girl shows up. If my preferences in sexuality bother you—"

Vega laughs loudly, it's an incredulous sound that vibrates across the room and I drone out in confusion, "Being gay isn't what bothers me Jade! It's the fact that you sleep around constantly! In the short time that I've known you, you've already slept with four girls! You don't respect them, you don't call them back and you never let them stay after you finish! I hear you occasionally cry in the shower, I see the avoidance with anything intimate and I know your commitment issues have nothing to do with you being a 'Player'."

My jaw drops and I glare at the floor in shame, not bothering to deny anything she says. It's all true, every word undeniably certain. A tan hand covers mine; it warms my cold palm with reassurance and comfort.

"I know there's more to you than sleeping around, I see it when you write, when you talk to Beck and when you let yourself relax. There has to be a reason you give up a piece of yourself every time you walk into that guest bedroom with a girl in tow. Just tell me. Was there a girl that hurt you, I know it seems hard but—"

"You don't know anything! You have no idea how I feel, just stop trying to figure me out!" I snapped, wrenching my hand from hers. I stood up and set my bowl in the sink; facing her one last time I spoke with a ragged whisper, "Sometimes it's better to leave things in the dark, where they belong." With that I walked to my bedroom and sobbed silently, hollow gasps filling the room with thick grief.

* * *

**See, there's a reason she sleeps around with sexy people! A reason that we will find out as the story progresses! Yay for progress! Oh and you guys are probably wondering why my chapters seem shorter, I do it to update faster and give you guys interested. **

**Excuse all my typos by the way, I do read over my chapters but sometimes I skim tiredly! Leave a review expressing your deep love for me! Or your deep hated, whichever gets your little hearts all fluttery and what not. Also, tell me if you guys would like a Tori POV, this was originally supposed to be Jade-centric but... let me know.  
**

**Remember, I love you and you're all my sex slaves. **


	5. A hollow heart and bitter sweet love

**Homecoming is Friday and my mother is having a field day with my permission to play 'Barbie Aly' and I'm seconds away from killing someone. I look good in a dress, and I can rock heels, Basketball helps with all that stuff but Makeup and curling my hair in loose curls do not fit in my overly tomboyish mind. So in the words of a caveman, "Aly no good at girly things."**

**I don't like Mitt Romney's social views AT ALL; he wants to revoke gay marriages! Dude, how does that help America in any shape or form? People are dying, kids are starving and we're struggling through obstacles every day, OH LOOK those two guys are kissing lets go worry about that! **

**Fuck society, I'm making my own planet. You're all invited to ALYTOPIA.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, Nickelodeon does. So I told you guys that you were all my Sex Slaves and I found no one in my bed today? CARE TO EXPLAIN?**

* * *

I run faster, willing my legs to carry me this last mile. My lungs burn in my chest and my sweat is dampening my sports bra, it's uncomfortable and painful but it's also numbing and gratifying. Music is pounding loudly in my ears, encouraging me to pick up my pace even if I'm already running at an impressive speed.

I spot the apartment building and push myself faster, ignoring the whistles and cat calls, voices and faces pooling together to make a noisy blur.

I reach the lobby doors and slow down, wiping the sweat off my forehead and pulling my headphones out of my ear. The doorman offers me a smile and I give him a tight nod before entering the elevator. My legs feel like feeble sticks, supporting my frame with shakes and wobbles, and I lean tiredly on the cool elevator wall. I pushed myself too far today, running fifteen miles without stops or gradual paces. Anything to keep my mind from thinking, and it worked, the faster I ran the harder it was to develop a coherent thought. Till my brain just became mush and everything muddled stunningly.

A ding snapped me out of my reverie and I stepped out into the hallway, robotically walking to my apartment door and turning the key.

Lana Del Ray filled the room with her alluring spell, 'Ride' played from my expensive speakers and I glanced at Vega who sat on the couch with her eyes closed, as if she could embody the song and let it manifest inside of her through cracks and crevices. I stared longingly, it was beautiful.

"You've been gone a while," Vega mumbles with her eyes closed.

"I have." I answer truthfully, shifting onto my right foot, the running shorts riding up with the motion.

"Why?"

"Why not? I needed some time to clear my head," I tugged on my lip, "I wanted to stop."

Vega opens her eyes and looks at me questioningly. "To stop what?"

I smiled bitterly, relentless as ever Tori Vega. "To stop thinking about all the 'if's and maybes', to stop wondering why 'we could haves' and 'would haves' exist, to just stop being." With anyone else it would've sounded crazy and only heard with unintelligible mutterings. It was like speaking a different language, a string of words and mumbles that they couldn't understand but this was Vega, and for some reason she understood.

Vega peeled herself off the couch, her eyes never leaving mine as she crossed the living room; I stood rigid, watching cautiously when she stopped in front of me. Her arms twitched and I knew she held herself from embracing me, to offer me comfort and I would've taken it but I wouldn't know what to give back.

"You seem different today, was it because of last night? I know I overstepped my boundary and I am sorry." Vega apologized.

I shook my head, "It wasn't because last night," I chewed on the inside of my cheek, contemplating on giving her the real reason. "Tomorrow is just a… difficult day for me, and I usually tend to become a bit, _**somber**_ around this time." I expected a 'Why?' but nothing came and I inwardly thanked Vega for allowing the silence to settle between us.

"Go take a shower, you stink." Vega teases easily and I smirk. The room becomes a bit brighter, easier to breathe in.

"Every other girl loves when It when I sweat." Vega scowls and scrunches up her nose, then slaps me for good measure.

"Oooooh, kinky. Slap me harder, Jade likes it rough." I growl playfully.

"Did you just refer to yourself in 'Third Person'? Why don't you just call yourself 'The Brad' and walk around with a collar popped polo?"

I laughed loudly and walked to the bathroom feeling lightweight and without burden.

* * *

"Everything okay Jade?" Beck asks concerned through the phone, I grunt in response. "Grunting isn't an answer, I don't speak Caveman language."

"I'll buy you Rosetta Stone." I reply dryly.

"Don't be a smartass, now as I was saying are you OK?"

I tighten my hold on the phone and curl deeper into my pillow. "I'm fine."

"Jade, you don't have to lie. I know tomorrow is a hard day for you and I just want you to—"

"I don't need to be reminded, I'm perfectly capable of knowing what day it is."

"Why don't you spend the day with me? We could go somewhere, anywhere. Talk about 'The XX' and draw made up constellations that resemble fat guys! We can even invite Tori, we could contaminate her with our awesomeness."

I grinned despite myself and chuckled lightly, "I'd rather be alone."

"You always do something stupid when your upset and I can't let you be unsupervised tomorrow."

"Beck, I cant."

Beck scoffed, and I could imagine him running his hand through styled hair in agitation, "Yes you can! Ever since Ca—"

"NO," The bones in my ribcage seemingly tightened, and I palmed my chest roughly, "Don't say her name. Don't you ever say _**her**_ name again." I threatened angrily.

"She hurt you, she left you and her name is nothing compared to what she did."

"Saying her name makes it real Beck." I whispered brokenly.

"You need to let it go, give her up. She isn't coming back." Beck said sagely.

"I need to let it go? Do you let it go when someone is ripped out of your life with a few words and empty frowns? DO YOU let it go when every time you close your eyes they're there, looking back at you with adoration and love. You can't let someone go, not when you still cling to the love for someone that made your life a hell of a lot better. She left me without reason, not an ounce of closure except for a goodbye and an apology."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize for something so selfish, you did nothing."

"You changed when she left."

"I shattered when she left," I corrected solemnly, "I'm not sure how to fill hollow hearts, and I can only shade it in temporarily with lust and sex."

Beck took a deep breath, and it comforted me slightly. "Love can fix you."

I guffawed, "Love broke me!"

"Someone will come along, you'll fall in love and the only thing keeping you from loving them back is yourself. And then when that happens, what will you be left with," Beck paused briefly and I clung to the sheets, "Nothing but shallow feelings and a bitter heart."

I wiped the tears from my cheekbones and traced the underside of my jaw, "They've always said love was bittersweet."

"It doesn't have to be."

I stared at the ceilings, envisioning cracks and ridges taking shape and forming small hearts. "For me it does."

* * *

**This chapter is very special to me; it gives us insight on Jade, even though it's a tad vague. It makes you think, makes you want come up with reasons to justify her behavior. But you can't, because you're only given a peek of why she is how she is, and the question doesn't become why anymore. It becomes who.**

**Till next time. Leave a review, I love reading your opinions and comments. You're all fantastic.  
**


	6. Flashback to the broken past

**We about to get deep up in here. I'M TALKING REAL SHIT. LEGIT SHIT. PIECE OF SHIT. Wait that's not nice. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, Nickelodeon does. I just own Elizabeth Gillies, she says hi.**

**Also I just got into this whole Faberry Fandom, looks like we got a couple of stories coming out soon. I'm dancing right now, you guys just can't see it, its very provocative. Wink wink.  
**

* * *

**_-A year and a half ago-_**

Jade fingered the velvet box in her pocket, brushing the outside in excitement and it was flooring, how much she wanted this.

How much she wanted Cat.

She parked her car outside a florist and made her way to the door with a bright smile, she waved to a kind old lady who stared blankly at her before returning the gesture. Jade walked through the aisles of flowers and scratched her head in thought. She wanted something meaningful but amazing, she knew Cat would love any kind of flower but this was a special day. Today was the day Jade was going to ask Cat's hand in marriage and they'd get those happy endings that seemed to be rare these days.

"Need some help there young lady?" The old woman patiently asker, her gray eyes watched Jade with fascination. It wasn't everyday that someone so young looked at the flowers as more than just a last resort apology or present to ease their guilty hearts, she looked at them like flowers should've been gazed at, with meaning and adoration.

Jade smiled softly at the old woman, her attitude without bite and it was all due to a special girl in her heart. "Yes, actually. I'm very much in love with someone, and I want to show it to them without buying some empty hearted flower."

The old woman nodded in understanding, she took Jade's hand in hers and ignored the hum in surprise from the raven haired girl. She pulled her to a small stand that carried tulips and picked out three yellow ones, "These mean hopelessly in love," she grabbed three red ones, "While these mean a declaration of love. I'm assuming your planning on marrying this young lady, am I right?"

Jade stuttered in confusion, "How'd you know it was a girl? And yes I am."

The old lady nodded sagely, "The fact that you threw out vague pronouns nervously gave it away. I may be old but I'm not ignorant, I believe that love is blind. Now here's one last flower I think that would suit you," she hobbles away and Jade laughs quietly at the eagerness in her stride. She comes back and Jades eyes widen as the old woman hands her a bright red flower, "Here you go, it's called an Anemone, it means Unfading love."

"Thank you so much, this is perfect."

"Anytime young lady, go on ahead to the cash register and hopefully everything works out for you."

Jade nodded and headed over to the cash register, a blonde haired woman with gray eyes eyed her hungrily as she paid.

"If whoever for this is doesn't work out, give me a call." The cashier whispered, Jade resisted the urge to roll her eyes and politely took the number in her pocket.

"Don't expect a call." Jade growled and took the flowers, stomping to her car with irritation. The gall of some people, bunch of sex addicts. Jade chuckled at the thought, good thing she had Cat or she'd be in trouble with all the women who threw themselves on her.

Jade drove to Cats house, her heart pounding in anticipation and impatience. Her phone rang and she pulled it out of her pocket, "Hey!"

"Hi, damn Jade you actually sound pleasant. Any reason for your weird mood?"

"I'm making Cat mine forever," Jade answered confidently.

"Wait… are you proposing to Cat today?! You just go the ring a week ago! I thought you were going to propose in a year!"

"I couldn't wait! I **love** her Beck; I've never even felt anything remotely to this. Look, we start college in a month and if I wait till the end of freshman year then everything will be to hectic, besides my dad just told me he got an apartment for me."

"I don't know Jade—"

"Beck, Cat and I have been going out since the ninth grade, four years!"

"Yes but—"

"But nothing Beck! Just be happy for me," Jade huffed loudly, her eyes landing on Cats house, "I got to go, I'm here."

"Jade wait, think about this! You have your whole life to marry her, just wait till it's more concrete. This isn't practical!"

Jade grinned, "Love never is." She hung up and exited the car, pale hands holding the bouquet of flowers tightly and the other knocking against the heavy door.

A petite redhead swung open the door and her bright smile faltered, but Jade didn't notice as she held out the flowers. Jade bent down and gave her a small peck on the cheek, "Hi there baby."

"Hey Jade…" Cat pulled Jade into her living room and sat her down on the couch. Cat frowned and knotted her fingers together; Jade glanced at her with concern.

"Is something wrong Cat?"

Cat stayed silent while she picked at the flowers and Jade cleared her throat, "The yellow Tulips mean hopelessly in love and the red ones mean a declaration of love. The big deep red, the Anemone one means unfading love. And—" Jade reached into her pocket, preparing to show Cat how much she really meant it. But Cat stood abruptly and eyed Jade with unshed tears.

"I can't do this!" Cat yelled, her small hands raking over her scalp harshly. Jade was stunned, her fingers curling in her pocket.

"Huh? Do you not like the flowers or—"

"I don't love you Jade." Cat voiced.

"You don't love me? What the fuck do you mean, 'I don't love you'."

Cat slumped her shoulders and wiped the tears on her cheeks, "I just,"

Jade trembled, her azure eyes electric as they stared down dark brown ones, hurt, confusion, love and anger swam in Jade's head.

"I'm not in love with you Jade. I don't think I've ever been in love with you. I thought I did, and maybe at some point it was there but… I'm not sure."

"FOUR YEARS! We've been together four years and now, now you tell me you don't love me?! Is this a fucking joke?" Jade snarled over Cat.

"No its not. I think we should—"

"We should break up? Let me guess, 'It's not you, it's me?' You can't be serious."

Cat frowned, "That's not fair Jade, and I can't just make my heart love you. It's not my fault!"

Jade walked to the door, "Giving you my heart was hard enough, asking me to take it back is nearly impossible." She walked to her car, opening it roughly and eyeing Cat as she rushed to Jade's window, holding the car to keep her from leaving.

Cat sobbed loudly and Jade couldn't find it in her to listen, the wreck of her heart to loud against her chest.

"I just don't know how to love you. I'm sorry."

"B-but I love you! I can show you." Jade pleaded against her will, Cat lowered her head and shook it.

"Jade, I can't."

"Fine."

"Jade…"

Jade just stared at the dainty hand on her car door, brokenly whispering, "Leave, just leave."

Jade drove around LA, her eyes watery and her mouth dry. She pulled out the phone number in her back pocket, wanting release, anything to get red hair and brown eyes out her head. She dialed the cashier and cleared her throat before smoothly saying, "Hey, looks like I'm taking you back on your offer. It didn't work out with that other person."

The voice on the other end laughed, "Looks like you need some cheering up. Come to my apartment."

Jade let out a bitter chuckle, "Be there in twenty minutes."

* * *

**I apologize for any typos or awful errors, I'm a bit tired.**

**Leave a review or two. **

**Look that rhymed! **

**I'm going to become a rapper. **

**Aspirations! I got them.**


	7. Broken Glass

**GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS!**

**Hi. c:**

**SO I had this idea where we all go door to door, introducing Jori to everyone, thoroughly explaining the dynamics of our OTP and why they are better than anything in our pathetic lives. And if they don't like it, call us weirdoes or go off in hysterics about how lesbians are butt munchers. Then we simply beat the living shit out of them, for we are THE JORI MAFIA. **

**I am the Mafia boss, so clearly I need a Mafia Boss name. You guys should give me one, so I can laugh evilly. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, Nickelodeon does. And yes that is me on my profile avatar, and yes I do smile awkwardly but you all love me for it.**

* * *

"_Thought I had an answer once  
But your random ways swept me along  
Colossal signs so I got lost  
With so many lovers singing soft."_

A knock woke me up and I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, my gaze settling on the door as it opened revealing a timid Vega.

"Jade…" She called cautiously; I frowned and ignored her not wanting to be bothered today. I flinched at the date on my digital clock, I needed a drink. I felt the bed shift and I tensed as a warm arm wrapped around my waist effectively bringing me closer.

I swallowed thickly, her hands making slow patterns on my bare skin and the breath in my lungs caught.

"Wha- what are you doing Tori?" I curse under my breath and Tori slides her hand up caressing my ribs. Her fingers go over every ridge along my ribs, pressing, playing and dragging along my skin. And I can't deny how great it feels, the pads of her fingers burning, imprinting herself on me and I almost moan.

I grab her wrist and stare her dead in the eye, "What do you think you're doing Tori?" I repeat with a hard tone. Her brown eyes pierce me with something unrecognizable and she lets out a shaky exhale, she wiggles out of my grasp and brings her palms to my cheeks.

"I'm helping you forget." She whispers before crashing her lips with mine.

* * *

"JADE!"

I sprung up on my bed and gripped the sheets, my eyes settle on a very angry Tori. Dream Tori was so much nicer, and sexier. Definitely sexier.

"What! Fuck, cant I get some sleep around here Vega?"

"Get dressed; we're going to do something today."

My eyes widened, and I probably look like a fish out of water. "Are you mad?! Look, Vega, today isn't a good day for me. I'd rather spend it being beautifully intoxicated with some dumb blonde. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going back to bed!" The nerve of some people.

Tori jumps on my bed and grabs a pillow, holding it threateningly over my head.

"You don't have the balls Tori Vega."

She smirks, "You bet your butt I don't have any balls." Then starts to pummel me with it, I'm too stunned to react but when I do I grab the offending weapon and flip us over. I straddle her, my hands pinning her wrists together over her head.

"You've been a pain in my ass Vega," one of my hands trailed down her sides pressing lightly and I smirked as she yelped, "Do you surrender?"

Tori frowns and then her features set on a determined expression, "No way."

"Suit yourself then." I quickly let go of her wrists and attack her sides tickling her unrelentlessly, I smirked as her squeals filled my apartment, her ragged pleas becoming hoarse and I felt something stir in my stomach. I pulled back my hands as if they were on fire and quickly got off of her, her surprise evident as she held her sides. Her brown eyes widened and I glanced down at myself in embarrassment. I run my hands over my bare arms, fidgeting nervously at the fact that I was just in a sports bra and batman boy shorts.

"So what are we going to do today?" I asked, might as well make use of this crappy day _**without **_alcohol.

* * *

I slapped myself in the forehead as I mumbled profanities, "A party?! Really Vega? You want to have a party today?"

Vega threw in another bottle of soda and merely glanced in my direction, "Yup. We need to get you out of this funk."

"Funk? Are you implying that I stink? I'll have you know that I smell pristine." I grumbled.

Vega threw three bags of chips at my head; I caught them and put them in the shopping cart while scowling.

"Don't be a smartass Jade, now call your friends and invite them over tonight at eight."

I smiled mischievously, "What kinda friends? I have a lot of _**friends**_, very _**friendly**_ friends. Ones who just love—"

"Shut up!"

"Damn, girl. Fiesty! I'll call Beck and he can do the rest." I chuckled.

We went to the cash register and I sighed as Vega pulled out her wallet. I rolled my eyes and handed the lady my debit card, ignoring Vega's glare as I did so.

We walked to my car and loaded my trunk with groceries, I grabbed Vega's wrist gently and pulled her to the small restaurant on the other side of the shopping complex. We entered and I smirked at the waiter, he gave us a private table in the back, not before writing his number on my wrist as I stifled a laugh and Vega just rolled her eyes.

"I just wanted to say thanks," I traced the star tattoo on my wrist while avoiding her confused stare, "If it wasn't for you then I probably would be holed up in my room drinking myself to death."

Vega reached over and pulled one of the strands of my hair, brown eyes melted into azure ones. I felt an inexplicable rush, a strong warmth that resided in my chest burned and I licked my lips.

"What happened on this day Jade?"

I sighed and ran my hands down my face, nothing like sharing your dirty laundry with your friend on a horrible fucking day. "I was in love with this girl, that love that everyone searches for and never really seems to find. The one that leaves people breathless and on cloud ninde, where nothing seems as bad because you know that despite the fact that life is pretty fucking shitty, you have someone with you."

Vega stayed silent, and I continued against my will. Once it was out, it had to be finished. As a writer I felt that everything needed closure. "She was everything, she was _**infinite**_ and she was never really mine. At least, that's what she said to me," I laughed bitterly, "I bought a diamond ring, small rubies lined the band and it sparkled so brightly that I swear if you saw it in direct light you'd go blind." Tori gasped knowing exactly where this was headed but I just circled the top of my water filled glass.

"Just before I was going to propose she told me she couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't be with me because she never really thought she loved me. How do you stick with someone for four years and suddenly tell them you don't love them?!" I gripped the glass of water in my hand, my knuckles turning white. "I have never; never in my entire life thought that someone could be so selfish. It felt like my heart couldn't function, my emotions were on a constant rampage against anyone who got close and I just couldn't take it. I couldn't take the fact that she just walke— no, excused herself pathetically out of my life. So I buried myself in sex," I bit the inside of my cheek shamefully, "I never let them touch me though. I give them relief, a sense of release and I tell them to leave. No one has ever been in my bed; no one has really touched me, aside from the occasional make out and I haven't properly taken anyone in a date in about a year." I shrugged and held the glass tighter in my hand. "Not since she basically told me get out of her life. I fucking hate that I can't stop loving her, and I wish… fuck, I just wish it would all go away." The glass shattered in my palm and I grunted in surprise, I heard Vega yell at the waitress for some towels and watched the blood pool on the table.

It hurt less than telling the story.

It hurt less than remembering her.

It hurt a lot less.

Vega swore and I raised my eyebrows, the girl rarely ever curses.

"It'll be okay Jade. I'll fix it." She met my eyes and her lips curled into a sad smile. I'm not sure if she was talking about my hand or my heart, but either way both were damaged.

* * *

**Damn, yo. All the feels. Are your hearts bleeding? Cause like mine is. **

**Just kidding. Fuck bitches get money!**

**HAH, no. **

**Anyway leave a review or I'll devour your soul!**

** And before I forget, DID YOU GUYS WATCH THAT HEAT GAME?! **

**CLUTCH, CLUTCH, CLUTCH.**

**Song lyrics are from the Song, Twice by Little Dragons. :D**


	8. Party Advice

**Aly 'The Cut Throat' Victimaleo and her partner in crime Dax 'Heart Attack' Merciallo. JORI MAFIA.**

**OH DAMN. Gangsters with hamsters.**

**I don't have a hamster…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, Nickelodeon does. Guys, do my homework. No, seriously. Do it.**

* * *

I glanced at the black bandage wrapped around my hand in mild distaste, I wanted to tear it off but Tori yelled at me for picking at the stitches so I kept quiet. I fingered the rough wrapping, my pale fingers running through it delicately as if it was made up of duct tape and children's glue.

"If you keep touching it I'm going to slap you." Tori voiced from behind me.

I turned; ready to give her a snappy response. "Vega why don't—"My breath caught at the sight of her. Long chestnut hair was curled down her back intricately, her makeup light, aside from the red lipstick that stained her mouth and a dark red dress that clung to her frame like a second skin. I struggled to keep my eyes from raking over those legs so I settled them on her face and gave her a weak smile.

"You look gorgeous Tori."

Tori blushed and fiddled with her fingers, "You don't look too bad yourself Jade." Brown eyes appraised my black dress and flawless makeup; I ran my hand through my recently straightened hair and reached out to her.

"Ready for this party?"

Tori smiled, "Definitely."

**-Two Hours Later-**

"Stop being a loser and go talk to some chicks!" I yelled over the music, Robbie nervously took a swig of beer in his mouth and avoided the glances of any passing female.

"I'm not a loser! I'm just bad at picking up girls," Robbie stuttered and I rolled my eyes, "Girls don't ever seem to like me." I took pity on the curly headed nerd next to me, talking to a puppet all day didn't necessarily make you good with the ladies.

"It's easy Robbie. I don't get why you guys act like women are these unattainable pieces of jewelry! There are tons of girls here! All you have to do is pluck one out and talk to her." I informed him with a bump in the shoulder.

Robbie stared at me in awe, "It's easy for YOU!" I sighed and ran a hand on the underside of my jaw.

"How is it any easier for me than it is for you?"

"Have you looked in the mirror?! Jade, you're freaking hot, everything about you screams danger and sex. These women basically crawl on their knees to be with you for a night." Robbie groaned.

I huffed in agitation, "Robbie, you're exaggerating."

"Oh yeah? What about that time Sinjins hot sister left her boyfriend for you?"

"That's a onetime thing."

"Funny you say that because Mike's, Phillip's, Dirk's and Todd's girlfriends did the same thing. Face it; you're too suave for your own good."

I smacked my forehead, "And it's my fault that I'm devastatingly beautiful and charming?"

Robbie stayed silent and I sighed, I spotted a small brunette in the corner looking out of place and shy. I pointed to her and smacked Robbie's neck.

"See that girl?" Robbie nodded cautiously, "Go talk to her."

"No. I suck at getting girls attention." Robbie pouted.

"Listen up, because I don't give out my secrets to just anyone." Robbie's eyes widened and he gave me his undivided attention. "You approach the girl, swiftly and confidently but not arrogantly. Introduce yourself and ask for her name, then only ask her about herself. Listen intently and after a while act like you're uninterested. This will leave the girl confused, especially since you initiated the conversation, when you notice that she's becoming offended and trying her best to gain your attention then go back to listening. It'll have her flattered and give her a sense of importance, the rest is up to you."

Robbie nods his head, "There's no way that'll work."

"Want to bet?" I glance over the crowd of people and pick a pretty blonde; I smirk and nudge Robbie with my elbow before walking over to her.

"Hi, I'm Jade."

The blonde is surprised and gives me a once over, her dark eyes regarding me with approval. "Hey, I'm Tammy."

"You go to Hollywood Arts?" I question, seemingly intrigued.

"Yeah, I'm a sophomore."

"Really? Me too. What are you studying?" I offer her a wide smile, giving her a not so subtle lick of the lips. Her eyes zero on the action and her neck turns a deep crimson.

"I.. uh." She shakes her head, trying to gain some composure. "I'm Majoring in Fashion."

I appraise her outfit, acting as if I really give two shits. "You dress impeccably. You'll be a fantastic Fashion designer one day. Tell me about it."

She rambles on for a few minutes and I watch her with faux interest, after another breath of pointless clothing opinions I zone out purposely. Her voice wavers when she notices I don't seem interested and she begins to get handsy, her fingers touch my arm as she tries to gain my attention. When her features begin to get worried and annoyed I straighten up and shoot her a smile.

"That's amazing." I giggle out, and damn, I should've been an actress because her eyes light up and she blushes furiously. I point to Robbie, "I have to go help out a friend with his girlfriend, but maybe I could…"

"Here's my number. Call me."

I walk off with a triumphant smile and Robbie claps in amazement.

"I can't believe that actually works!"

I nod my head, "Yup, easy as pie. Now go get that girls number!" I yell and Robbie scampers off towards the shy brunette while I pick up a beer.

Something warm touches my shoulder and I turn back fully expecting Robbie again. I grinned when I noticed it was Tori and the smile on my face faltered as I took in her frustrated expression.

"Jade who are these people?!" Tori yelled harshly against the loud music, I winced and ducked my head shamefully.

"You said to invite friends!" I retorted defensively, a girl stumbled in front of me and I helped her up with a sly smile. I wiped it off at the look on Tori's face; she looked awfully unamused for a party.

"You don't know half of these people Jade."

I scoffed, "Yeah I do."

Tori narrowed her eyes at me, burning holes into my face threateningly. "Only because you've slept with most of them."

I cringed, the blow was low and I swallowed the rest of the beer in my hand, Tori crossed the bodies around me with an apologetic frown. "Jade I didn't mean,"

I held a hand up, not wanting to hear it. "Save it." I bit out angrily; I walked off to go find more booze ignoring Tori's string of apologies.

I walked off, heading to the balcony in my room after picking up a bottle of Vodka and cranberry juice; I sat on the chair outside and poured myself a glass.

"Alert the presses! Jade West is outside by herself without a girl on her side." A deep voice broke the silence and I stared at Beck with a scowl.

"Shut the fuck up Beck." I growled as I took a gulp of Vodka.

Beck held up his hands in mock defeat and sat in front of me. "Hey there Pretty Girl, what's got you down?"

"Your cousin."

Becks eyebrows rose, "What did she do?"

Ignoring the question, I took another drink and sighed heavily. "I know I sleep around, I know I basically treat women like shit and use them but before Tori, it never bothered me. Then she comes along and has me questioning my behavior! I wish I never told her about Cat."

"You told her about Cat?! You've never been that open with someone before and you've only known Tori for a month!"

I played with my bandaged hand before staring at Beck. "Tori is different."

"Jade do you… like Tori?"

"I barely know her Beck! Besides, you told me she's 'somewhat Bisexual'. What the fuck does that even imply?" I asked curiously, Beck scratched the stubble on his chin looking away from me in thought.

"She says she's attracted to women but she's never really gone out with a girl. It scares her, being gay isn't something that's common in my family and she doesn't know how her parents would take it. But I've seen the way she stares at girls, no matter how many guys she dates it's not on the same level of desire as it is with women. She doesn't know it yet Jade, but, she likes you."

"Well she can't like me."

"Why can't she?!"

"Beck! I'm not good enough for her! She's pure, kind and _**real**_, she needs someone who isn't all fucked up in the inside."

"You're good Jade. Don't forget who you are."

"I'm not that person anymore."

"You can be. Just give it some thought," Beck kisses me lightly on the cheek, "You could be something great together."

* * *

**I'd say something really witty but I have to go do homework! **

**Please leave a review, Criticism and ssuggestions are welcome!  
**

**LOVE YOU GUYS. MUAH!**


	9. Take on the big guys

**This is a SPESHUL chapter. It's Beckfabulous. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, Nickelodeon does. I own you though, get back in my bed.**

**l**_**Beck POV**_**l**

* * *

_"You could be something great together." _

The words rush out of my mouth and I'm not sure where I pulled the sincerity and conviction from. How the hell would I know if Tori and she could be anything more than just close roommates?

Jade closes her eyes; her fingers knot, push and pull against each other. It's a nervous habit that developed when she thought hard, when she's in pain. And it crashes against my body, the wave of despair that she emits with just a small action and I watch her carefully. She portrays herself with this figment of invincibility. She play's a dangerous game, one she's mastered with a cocky smirk and a seductive glance, a predator in the flesh. But she's shattered, fragments of a beating heart lay waste in her chest.

But Jade swears she isn't breaking apart, her intestines aren't tangling and her rib cage isn't compressing her lungs and heart. Jade swears she isn't a liar; she just can't cope with the truth anymore. The truth that cradles her heart with thorns and razor blades, she doesn't know how to love truthfully anymore and it destroys her slowly. Inch by inch. I think we all tell ourselves what we want to know because learning who we've become is too painful.

She has the thoughts of a brilliant writer, but I have the intuition of an avid reader. I know she puts on a strong front, I know it kills her every time she sees the photo album under her bed and I know that she can only deny her growing attraction to Tori because she's _**scared.**_ And who wouldn't be scared? To tear your heart open after its been shredded, is anyone ever ready to hear about promises when they're already used to the lies.

I'm her best friend, but shoulders to cry on aren't enough. Not ever.

"We should get back to the party." Jade stands, fingers holding the vodka bottle tightly and she crashes the stem to her lips, taking a large gulp. Liquid courage running down her bloodstream and she glows with self assurance. I want to grab her shoulders, yell at her for being so fucking thickheaded but I shoot her a weary smile and lead her inside. When she finishes the bottle and pulls on a determined smile, I know that she's going to do anything to forget her vulnerability on the balcony moments ago.

Jade dances with a good looking girl, Jade has her hooked, it's a sinker folks! The other girl never really had a chance to begin with.

"What is her problem?!" An angry voice sounds to my right and I raise my eyebrows at my cousin.

"Jade? She's just dancing." We both know I'm lying but despite Tori being family, Jade has a special place in my heart and she deserves to be defended.

"Cut the crap," Tori takes a hard swig at the red plastic cup in her hand. "Doesn't she have any sense of self respect? She just picks up any woman with no damn restraint!"

I stare at Tori hard, my eyes narrowing at her ignorance. Are we all blind to what we don't want to see? "Jade doesn't throw herself on women. They throw themselves on her. They're captivated; please tell me you've noticed that Jade has something extremely alluring to her aside from a hot face and a killer body."

It's true, Jade is someone who can capture anyone's attention with a smirk or have them infatuated, no, _**addicted **_with just a brush of the hands. She's a marble surface, coated delicately and carved to perfection. Everyone wants her but they're not looking to know her. Not willing to discover the realness and raw beauty behind cold marble. People don't bother to see beyond that, they don't want to look and they miss on the most beautiful aspect of her. Her flawless imperfections that stain her with color.

"She told you about her ex-girlfriend," I continued, still watching Jade twirl around with the girl, "You're the only other person who knows about it. So tell me Tori, why did she confide in you?" I was curious and I was playing with fire, one could get easily burned if they stepped out of place.

Tori kept her gaze on Jade, jealousy reared its ugly head and her face was set in a scowl. "How should I know? I thought we could become… friends. Really good friends but maybe she's too much of a whore."

"TORI! I really hope that's the alcohol talking because Jade is far from that! Damn, didn't she tell you?" I snapped sardonically, her face was twisted with regret and confusion.

"Tell me what?"

I ran a hand through my hair, the rough pads of my fingers touching my scalp lightly. "She doesn't let anyone touch her."

"What do you mean? I've seen her kiss more than a handful of girls over this month!"

I placed my hand on Tori's shoulder, eyes piercing hers. "You really don't see it? There is no tenderness or affection in the way Jade kisses any of them, only desperation and self loathing are found. When she sleeps with them, she never allows them to ever return the favor. Do you understand? Jade is never touched and never held."

Tori's eyes widen dramatically, her lips pulled back in surprise and curiosity. "But, why?"

I swallowed against the lump in my throat, "Because she hates herself for wanting to forget Cat, having sex with a couple of strangers is just a huge distraction from the storm that takes place in her pretty head. She says she blames Cat, but she doesn't hate her, you can't hate someone you loved. You can only pretend to."

Tori watched Jade sadly, and excitement coursed through me as I saw a hint of longing in chocolate pools. "I'm sorry, I didn't think she was this sad. It's all so complicated."

I hugged Tori to my chest, "Heartbreak usually is."

* * *

I was talking with a short brunette when I heard Tori's voice slur, I turned to see a burly guy towering over her with a smug expression and my blood boiled.

"Don't tush me, you beeg dummy." Tori croaked out in a drunken mumble, her hands placed on the guys massive chest in an attempt to pull him off her.

"Lets get out of here baby, we all know you want me. Stop playing hard to get." The guy said with faux sincerity, his eyes showing a display of arrogance.

"No!" Tor squealed and I walked over slowly, keeping my anger at bay to avoid a scene but apparently Jade would have none of that discretion.

"Didn't you hear her the first time? Get. The. Hell. Away. From. Her." Jade yelled whilst pulling Tori behind her, fists curled to her hip.

"Oh, what do we have here? I like them feisty, how about I take you home instead?"

Jade laughed with mock glee, and cornered him with a glare. "You're not really my type." And then all hell broke loose as she slammed her fist on the dude's face.

**-Half an hour later-**

"Insufferable, stubborn, idiotic, hotheaded, crazy, unbearable, woman!" I grumbled loudly, pressing the steak on her black eye roughly.

"Oww! Chill out Beck!"

I scoffed, "ME?! Chill out?! You took on a guy who was 6'3, and you're telling me to CHILL OUT?!"

Jade held the raw steak on her eye and gave me an impish grin, "Basically."

"If it weren't for you standing up for my cousin I'd be extremely pissed and disappointed at you."

Jade looked away, licking her cut lip nervously. "Who said I did it for Tori?"

"Never thought you were a liar West." I challenged with a smile, almost laughing at her stunned expression.

"Whatever!"

"A woman of many words, tell me, is that the writer in you?"

"I hate you."

I laughed cheerfully and gave her a flick on the eye, paying no attention to her grunt. "Love you too. Oh and just to remind you, have fun dressing my passed out cousin in her pajamas."

I ran to the door and bolted down the stairs, ignoring her death threats and pleas.

* * *

**Beck is the hardest Jori shipper, he has a T-Shirt and everything. Ignore any Typos, I read through it hastily cause I'm pretty beat up right now. **

**Leave a review, or die.**

**Either way, both seem pretty adequate in your life. Just kidding, I like to pretend I have things worth saying. **

**ADIOS, until next time, keep that booty bootiful.**


	10. Pillow Talk Kinda

**WORST iCarly FINALE ever, that closure was fucking terrible. Freddie and Carly Kissing? NO. The Spencer and Carly goodbye was nice, so was the one with Gibby I guess... But they butchered Sam's goodbye, way to kill my stupid heart. WAY TO KILL IT.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious Nickelodeon does. I have boy troubles, I'm to suave for my own good. It's a curse.**

**Quick shout out to BlueWolf Leader who has written one of my favorite Jori Fics EVER, It's called Lullaby and its milkshakes bring all the JORI'S the yard. Check it out!**

**This chapter is short, I'm sorry dudes and dudettes.  
**

* * *

"Ugghh, my head."

I felt my eyes flutter open at the voice and held my breath when I noticed Tori snug against my side, her hands resting on my wrist while my arm was snaked around her waist. I gently remove myself from the bed and tiptoe to my bathroom, careful not to make any noise that would cause Tori to wake.

I brush my teeth and wince at the black eye on the reflection and cut lip, I run my fingers over it sighing as I in frustration. The sink is cold against my hands; I stare deep into my own azure eyes not understanding how they attract others when they cut so deep. The bruise around my eye doesn't hinder the piercing glare, doesn't ravage the alluring look and it certainly doesn't expel the regret that is tucked away.

A whimper draws my attention away from the mirror and I reach under the cabinet for the painkillers that are regularly used. Grabbing two and a glass of water, I shuffle in the room and shake Tori awake. Brown eyes settle on me, shining with tears and I help her up with a firm hold. She drinks the water and swallows the pills timidly almost as if she was unsure of herself before settling back to sleep. Not sure what comes over me, I crawl in next to her, ignoring the fact that no one has slept in my bed with me since Cat.

I'm surprisingly okay with that.

* * *

"Jade?"

We're lying in my bed when I wake up, our legs tangled and arms stretched over the lengths of each our bodies. I scramble away from her groggily, wiping the sleep from my face and hiding my embarrassment.

"Yeah?" I answer carefully, not wanting to provoke any further awkwardness.

"I.. We… You." I watch her falter with words, her eyes narrowed and eyebrows drawn together with confusion. "We didn't have sex… did we?" The tone comes out thick, and I panic inwardly when tears begin to stream down her face with unwarranted control. Sobs are let loose and I sit up against the frame of my bed, careful not to touch her.

"Tori are you a… virgin?" I whisper softly and scoot farther when her head nods quickly. I feel like throwing up, the uneasy and unnecessary guilt rising in my stomach uncomfortably.

"Please stop crying Tori! We didn't do anything, I promise. I was just so tired and Beck didn't want to dress you in pajamas and he left me to do it! I didn't look, I swear. I kept my eyes closed and then I left you in my bed cause you looked so comfortable, I never touched you inappropriately, not because you're ugly or anything but I respect you and—"

"It's okay I believe you." Tori interrupted, her face stained red.

"Never would I have done something like that Tori, you have to believe me. I know I sleep around a lot but I wouldn't fathom to ever try that with you, I—"

"JADE!"

My rambling is cut short by the shock on her face, she reaches out and caresses my eye while I struggle not to cringe or shudder against her touch.

"What happened? I can't remember what happened after I talked to Beck. How did you end up with a split lip and a black eye?" Tori questions, she gasps when my fingers brush away the tears on her cheekbone and I offer her a wry smile.

I scratch the back of my neck, the knuckles on my right hand aching as I stretch out my slender fingers. "One of the guys at the party was trying to take you home," Tori's eyes widen and I set my jaw as I recall the massive bastard who tried to coax her into leaving with him. "You denied him, which by the way I'm impressed because you were incredibly drunk and ditzy. Anyway, I saw it and calmly intervened."

Tori tilts her head, a disbelieving look etched into her face. "Calmly intervened? What exactly did you do?"

I chuckled nervously and fingered the sheets around us, "I may have punched him in the face."

"You what?!"

"I socked him. He got a good few hits on me but you should've seen what he looked like after I was done with him! He looked like a fucking plum heh." I added smugly. Tori leaned in and pressed a warm kiss on my cheek. I gripped the sheets and took control of my breathing; she paused against my cheek before whispering into my ear. "Thank you."

"Uh, I, you. Welcome." I babbled out and mentally scolded myself for sounding like an idiot but I refrained from cursing when Tori giggled and plopped back down on my bed. Her arm circled down and brought me down next to her. I turned my head and faced her, a questioning glance directed at her small smile.

"Why become a writer?" She asks, chocolate pools locked with my azure ones and I licked my lips in thought. It's a random question and she voices it with innocent curiosity that has me wanting to be brutally honest. Something that tends to be rare.

"I'm a writer because I want my words permanent against pieces of paper where they belong and hopefully someone will find the parts of me worth understanding. I'm not asking to be famous or cherished, I don't need a best seller or a movie, my legacy will be simple and infinite on paper. Even if no one ever reads a sentence I write." I pause briefly, conjuring up the courage to continue. "My father says it isn't practical. To be something so... uncertain. He says words aren't valuable, it's taking action that speaks in volumes. He's a firm believer in success and writers aren't always successful, he has the best intentions for me but it doesn't make me happy to be stuck as CEO for a power hungry board of soul sucking old men. I can only hope that my passion doesn't go to waste."

Tori traces the line of my jaw, I tense instinctively and bite my lip. "Jade, you're words are far too magnificent to waste."

I ponder black ink splattering against white sheets around us. Blobs arranging themselves, forcing words and phrases together intricately as they form words beautifully. I think of the love story I couldn't write and I suck in a deep breath as the first sentence settles in my head.

_It all started with a broken heart._

The story has a perfect start and I smile widely at the stroke of inspiration.

"Thank you Tori."

* * *

**Any mistakes are because I'm amazingly imperfect and that's OK.**

**Sorry I haven't updated in like 3000 years but I was on vacation. On a cruise with my family and that was quite an event.**

**Leave a thought, a comment an insult if you like! But if you insult me, leave me your address and phone number so I can shove my foot up your a-  
**

**You're all fabulous.**


	11. Make sense of this

**You guys and your reviews just make me all smiley and giggly and my friends don't know why the hell I look like a grinning fool every time I get a notification on my iPhone. They think I have a secret boyfriend.**

**Will you guys be my secret boyfriends?**

…**. I love you Pookie.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, Nickelodeon does. So we're doing secret Santa in my class and I'm all like "Bitches, I want either basketball shorts or Adventure Time shit. So whoever gets me better step it up." People just started cracking up, honestly I wasn't even kidding…**

* * *

Growing up was considered a rite of passage in my house, if you had the ability to thrive under unbelievably high expectations then you grew up strong and successful. If you couldn't handle the pressure then you broke, you were a weakling in the eyes of my father and no respect or dignity was offered to you. A "West" gave no pity and we took no handouts.

So imagine my father's surprise when his business wiz of a daughter switched her major from Business and Economic study at Harvard to Major in English over at Hollywood Arts. He was stunned at first, disbelieving that I would throw away the opportunity to run the biggest music corporation in the world over what he considered to be a silly dream. We fought, a _**lot**_. Our relationship was strained and the break up with Cat just left me drastically bitter and frustrated. Basically, we don't exactly have the greatest father-daughter bond.

Now I'm just trying to decide whether to pick up my phone and answer his call or ignore it and continue talking to Tori who's lying next to me with a concerned smile.

I picked up the phone and watched my thumb hover over the screen. Well, might as well bite the bullet.

I cleared my throat, "Hello father."

I felt Tori tense next to me, I placed a hand on her wrist; a silent gesture that let her know I was OK.

"Jade."

I chuckled darkly and I heard a deep intake of breath on the other side of the line.

"Always so proper Mr. West. Did you grace me with your presence to argue with me over my career choice or to berate me on how much of a disappointment I am? You should try something different, spice things up a bit."

"Jade, that's enough." His voice shook and I clamped my mouth shut at the unfamiliar soft tone of such a hard man. "I'm coming to L.A tomorrow. We need to talk."

I pulled myself up and sat against the bed frame. Tori glanced up at me and I looked away, not wanting her to see my vulnerability. "What's there to talk about?"

He ignored my question and continued, "Meet me at that little Café you love around three, don't be late."

"Dad—"The dial tone cut me off and I slammed my phone on the table next to me. "Motherfucker hung up on me."

Tori sat up and curled next to me, her brown eyes regarded me carefully like she was just waiting for me to snap and honestly, I was ready to punch a brick fucking wall.

"Jade…"

I waved her off and stood up from my bed. "Vega, I'm fine."

A huff sounded and the sheets on the bed rustled as she stood up, "We're back to Vega? Really Jade? Every time it feels like I'm making some progress with you, you shut me out!"

I turned around and placed my hands on my hips. I wasn't really in the mood for this bullshit. "Progress? I'm not a fucking project _**Vega**_, you don't get to try and figure me out."

She walked up to me with her hands stiffly at her side, "I don't want to figure you out Jade. I just want to make sense of this."

"Make sense of what? There's nothing to make sense of. I'm Jade, you're Tori. We're just roommates." That's a blow directly to Tori's heart and I watch as she visibly slouches, but she shakes her head with anger and points a finger at my chest.

"Stop acting like you don't care about me when you sure as heck do! I. Wont. Hurt. You. Let me be your friend. I just… want to be close to you." She pleads quietly and her voice wavers when she stares back at me with undisguised hurt. She sounds so sincere and I feel my defenses weakening. And there's a small voice in my head yelling at me. Pleading with me not to let her in, not to let _**anyone**_ back in. I don't think my heart can take another hit.

I nod my head because I don't think I mind a broken heart if Tori's the one to give it to me.

"Let's go get some lunch." Tori lets out a squeal before throwing her arms around my shoulder. And I wrap her closely, smiling against her shoulder when she buries her face in my hair happily.

* * *

Pilot shades are fixed perfectly upon my face as Tori drags me around with a playful smile. My red flannel shirt rides up to reveal my hipbones against her as she pulls me along and I catch Tori stare unabashedly with dark eyes.

"See something you like Vega?" I tease.

"I was just staring at how white you are. I mean, we live in L.A and your skin tone rivals someone's from Alaska." Tori spit back and glared at me threateningly.

I felt my jaw go slack and I blinked a few times before letting a smirk spread on my face. I put an arm around her shoulder and puller her close, "You're alright, kid."

"I'm _**fantastic.**_" She replied with a cocky grin.

I let out a short laugh and pushed past the restaurant door, "And you say I'm full of myself. Vega has an Ego!" I sung loudly, taking the glasses off.

A waitress coughed loudly and Tori smiled sheepishly as we were led down the dim aisles of tables and seated in a corner facing the small stage where a couple was doing a terrible rendition of Beyonce and Jay-Z.

The DJ shook his head and gracefully turned off the song, the couple whirled around to shoot daggers at him while the crowd roared with laughter and applause.

"Singing is hard, it's not like any of you have the guts to come up here and do it!" The boy yelled in frustration and his girlfriend nodded before grabbing the microphone.

"Yeah!"

I scoffed and rolled my eyes when I noticed the pair glancing over at me with contempt written all over their ugly little faces. They pointed me out on the stage and I grinned mischievously when they scowled.

"You think you can do better?" The boy asked mockingly and the DJ looked at me with a smile.

"I can do a hell of a lot better than that crap you call 'Singing', I honestly thought I was going to have to shove a breadstick in my ears to stop the bleeding." I hollered as the crowd laughed and the dude flushed in anger.

"Prove it!"

I shrugged and got up from the table. "Alright."

Mr. Fuck Face as I deemed him laughed into the Mic with what he probably thought was an intimidating grin but he just resembled a constipated bear. "But, I get to pick the song."

"Just give me the song loser."

He whispered it into my ear and I feigned fear, he smiled and spoke quietly to the DJ who moved to play the song on the karaoke machine.

I held up my hand and the DJ threw me a questioning look, I motioned at the piano and he nodded. I made my way across the stage and sat on the piano bench; my fingers settled over the keys and I felt the familiar rush of excitement course through me as I stared into the crowd.

"This goes out to my amazing _**friend**_ Tori. Thanks for taking a chance on me."

_She's like cold coffee in the morning  
I'm drunk off last nights whisky and coke  
She'll make me shiver without warning  
And make me laugh as if I'm in on the joke_

I winked at Tori who watched me with fascination, her small hand fisted under her chin as she ignored the waitress who just looked as entranced with my singing. Especially since she was missing Tori's cup and the water from the pitcher was falling on her own shoes.

_And you can stay with me forever_  
_Or you could stay with me for now_

_Tell me if I'm wrong_  
_Tell me if I'm right_  
_Tell me if you need a loving hand_  
_To help you fall asleep tonight_  
_Tell me if I know_  
_Tell me if I do_  
_Tell me how to fall in love the way you want me to_

_I'll wake with coffee in the morning_  
_But she prefers two lumps of sugar and tea_  
_Outside the day is up and calling_  
_But I don't have to be so, please go back to sleep_

_Stay with me forever_  
_Or you could stay with me for now_

_Tell me if I'm wrong_  
_Tell me if I'm right_  
_Tell me if you need a loving hand_  
_To help you fall asleep tonight_  
_Tell me if I know_  
_Tell me if I do_  
_Tell me how to fall in love the way you want me to_

_'Cause I love the way you wake me up_  
_For goodness sake will my love not be enough?_

The couple stared in awe and embarrassment while I easily hit every note with drastic perfection and I smugly grinned.

_Tell me if I'm wrong_  
_Tell me if I'm right_  
_Tell me if you need a loving hand_  
_To help you fall asleep tonight_  
_Tell me if I know_  
_Tell me if I do_  
_Tell me how to fall in love the way you want me to_

_Tell me if I'm wrong_  
_Tell me if I'm right_  
_Tell me if you need a loving hand_  
_To help you fall asleep tonight._

Silence coated the air and I almost jumped when the audience shouted and clapped. I smiled and bowed, jumping off the stage and heading back to my table. I leaned over and placed a short kiss on Tori's cheek.

"You're fantastic." I said and picked up the menu to hide my smile.

* * *

**Song is called "Cold Coffee" by Ed Sheeran.**

**So adorable.**

**It's like watching a flower bloom slowly, the relationship is getting there and the friendship has been established.**

**Tell me what you think by pressing that button below!**

**Yup… that button right there.**

**Click it.**

…**.**

**I SAID CLICK IT.**


	12. Save the day Jade!

**WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?**

**I've been waiting ages, and I can't handle this kind of stress. I have a weak heart.**

…

**Oh shit, I'm the one making you guys wait. IM A HORRIBLE PERSON.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, Nickelodeon does. If you were my keyboard, I'd tap you all day.**

* * *

There are moments in your life that seem like the whole world has reared its ugly head against you and an inevitable wave of _**failure**_ passes through the air in a storm of constant bullshit. And you're just like "Fuck my life." That point in life had me here, trying not to drown in self pity and anger.

I eyed the time on the dashboard of my car and let out a small exhale of air. I tapped on my steering wheel and my legs shifted underneath me waiting patiently to stretch out of the car. Gathering my keys and phone I grabbed the car door handle with damp hands and exited. I walked to the Café and saw a familiar figure in a crisp suit, his hands were occupied with a mug of coffee but he glanced up to meet my eyes with a weary smile.

"Hello Jade." I sat across from him and picked at the mug in front of me before replying.

"What do we need to talk about?"

My father scowled and brushed his hands together uncomfortably. "There's no reason to be so cordial with me Jade. I am your father after all."

I twirled a stray hair on my finger and glared at him, "You could have had me fooled with the way you demanded this 'outing' yesterday."

"I simply wanted you to come that's all. You've been known to ignore me after all."

I fisted my hands together and slowed my breathing, calming myself slightly before continuing. "Ignore your wishes perhaps but not you father. Let's get something straight here, if you ever wanted to actually spend time with me, then you'd call me. So don't play your guilt cards."

His blue crystal eyes narrowed and the placid demeanor dropped instantly. The businessman was no longer hiding behind pleasant smiles and easy gestures. "You haven't changed a bit, little girl."

I laughed bitterly, "I could say the same old man, now, what do you want?"

"Your mother wants to see you."

I gritted my teeth and ignored the pounding in my head. "Tell her I don't want to see her."

He let out an exasperated sigh, not even twenty minutes of speaking and he was already tossing glances at his watch and fingering the tie on his neck. "Jade, she's your mother. Have some ounce of decency."

"She didn't have an ounce of decency when she slept with your best friend and walked out on your marriage."

A flicker of pain flashed in his eyes and his mouth curled downwards before settling back in its usual grim line. He had buried his emotions so long ago that any glimpse of feeling had me slumped in my chair with dismay and nostalgia. "That has nothing to do with you Jade. My marriage is of no concern to you."

I gritted my teeth and swallowed against the growing lump in my throat. A deep knot curled into my stomach, a push and pull of my heart brought me back to the present and I glared at my father. "It wasn't my concern?! She was my mother and she just _**left**_, with a man who was barely over twenty one and worked as a restaurant manager! Didn't bother to call her _**only **_daughter except to cry and bitch about her stupid relationship. I have nothing to say to her and I want nothing to do with her. So can you kindly tell her to kiss my ass?"

A firm hand gripped mine, "She loves you. It's hard to believe but she does. We all make mistakes, some worse than others but at least she's attempting something. I can't be that ideal parent you long for, not anymore, but she's trying and that counts for a lot more than what I've done in the past few years." I blinked back the hot tears and turned away from him. An ounce of the young, bright man who carried me on his shoulders shined through and I couldn't stand to look at it any longer.

"I have to go."

"Jade…"

I removed my hand from his and walked steadily to the parking lot, I ignored the hammering in my chest and let out a guttural yell in the confines of my car.

* * *

I was scrolling down my list of ONS, (One night stands) when a thump echoed in the apartment. I climbed off the bed with an agitated frown, the kitchen was dark and the living room was empty so I glanced at Teri's door. I knocked on it and patiently waited.

"Vega?" I called out. When I got no response I knocked harder and I felt myself start to pace inwardly. Why the hell was she taking so long to answer me? Is she okay? Does she have a boy in there? Oh fuck, she's a virgin; she can't handle that kind of intimacy!

"Vega, if you don't open this door right now, so help me—"My hysterical rant was cut off as the door creaked loudly.

The door swung open and I stumbled forward with surprise. I opened my mouth to snap at her when I took in her disheveled appearance and red eyes. Immediately I walked in, I fought with my hands as they itched to wrap around her. Anything to offer her comfort but it was such a foreign feeling and I couldn't act on it without fumbling like an idiot.

"Tori? Why are you crying?"

A tan hand ran across her cheeks, wiping off the tears halfheartedly as she took in a long, ragged inhale. "My dad's been shot. He was working on an inside case and his partner turned on him," She laughed darkly, "Money mattered more than my dad's life to him. Even after five years of friendship."

From what she told me her father was one of NYPD's finest, an iron willed Latin man with a killer field record and a heart of gold. Just like his daughter. She and he were close, especially with her mother always working. Ms. Vega never really bothered to pay attention to her youngest when her oldest seemed to gain every free time she had and it killed me when she told me that because anyone who didn't spare a second for Tori was a nutcase in my book. And even though Tori shrugged it off with an empty smile, you could tell that it hurt her not to have that motherly bond.

She walked into her room, her rigid muscles rippled with anxiety and she fell down to her knees. She laid her head against her arms, quivering with unshed sobs. "I couldn't get a flight to New York. It's all booked and my father's in critical condition and I can't even get a freaking plane ticket, I'm so useless."

Blame it on instinct or impulse or even a bloody fucking unicorn but something possessed me when I picked up my phone and called my father.

"Father, I have an emergency and I need to get to New York. Right now."

"You can borrow the private jet on one condition Jade."

I palmed my forehead, "What is it?" I growled into the phone, a sense of dread rolled over me when I heard him chuckle.

"You have to visit your mother."

"HELL NO." A sob pulled my attention back to Vega and I felt my heart leap and my lips fall into action. "Fine. I want the private jet at Richmond's Airport in ten minutes. Tell the captain we're going to New York."

"Alright. And Jade, thanks for trying to fix things with your mom."

"You blackmailed me!"

"It got the job done didn't it? Well goodnight."

The dial tone greeted me and I shut off the phone with a groan. "Tori?"

"Yeah?" Her voice croaked out and I stopped myself before I could jump in and embrace her. I offered her a reassuring smile and scratched the back of my neck while pointing to her closet. "Pack your bags. We leave in ten minutes."

"Wuh- Jade- huh?"

"Yeah, you're welcome. Now let's go! I want to meet your folks."

Tori picked herself off and walked over to me, a hesitant smile on her face and I sighed before opening my arms slightly. She hugged me with gratitude and I hugged back just as fiercely.

Tori Vega had me leaping through rings of fire for her, battling demons and swallowing poison at her request. I'm so sure I could feel my insides shaking, morphing and resembling with solid determination and ease. Tori had me rebuild myself stronger, just for her. Maybe Beck was right, we could be something great together but despite my growing feelings I'd keep it a mutual friendship. I was a risk taker but Tori was a liability I couldn't bear to take a chance on. I can't lose Tori Vega. Not when she's making me better again.

* * *

**It's picking up and next chapter will be a lot to take in. So buy some popcorn and smoke some weed!**

**I'm so tired, I'm not going to school tomorrow. Fuck school. It's all about the THUG LIFE.**

**CALL ME DA LAST OF DEH THUGS.**

**Just kidding.**

**Leave a review my wonderful readers. You sexy. Delicious. People.**

**Also send me nudes. Unless you're Glenn Coco then I want three. AND NONE FOR GRETCHEN WEINERS.**

…

**;D**


	13. Get high

**Man, that grave was cold. I came back from the dead cause I was like "Oh, I got a story to write. I should probably stop dying." **

**True Story. **

**How are you guys? Is Santa rapping with the reindeer's outside your houses, or are elves flashing your neighbors while yelling profanities? **

**I sure do love Christmas.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, Nickelodeon does. Elizabeth Gillies and Victoria Justice should wrap themselves up and sit under my tree. Just sayiin.**

* * *

I eyed the jet with a glare; my left hand gripped the suitcase tighter as I took the stairs up and watched Tori settle inside.

"Jade!"

At the top of the stairs was a familiar gray haired man and the tension in my body was temporarily forgotten when his arms captured me in a tight embrace.

"Campell! I haven't seen you in months. How are the kids? Is my dad treating you right? Do you still have those little chocolates in your pockets?" I rambled out. The personal assistant and close family friend of mine laughed.

"It has been long, they're good, yes he is and yup here you go." He pulled out a wrapped chocolate and I stuffed it in my pocket. "So you're getting on an airplane…" His blue eyes watched me warily; I scratched the back of my neck.

"I'm doing it for a friend, Camp."

"No, friends call each other and talk about things. Friends get together on weekends and go shopping together. Friends don't take each other to New York and make deals with their fathers to get a private jet."

I narrowed my eyes and blew out air from my nose, "You heard about the deal?"

"Heard? I had to set it up with your mother! You'll be seeing her first thing when you get back. That means these two weeks of winter break better be worth it. The girl's pretty but is she really wo—"

I held up a hand, "Woah. This isn't for some vacation getaway, her dad's in the hospital. And yes Campell she is worth it."

"You are some _**friend **_Jade. A really friendly friend, you're such a great friend. Do friends come like you often?" He remarked with an eyebrow raised and a carefully placed smile.

"Whatever." I grumbled and pushed past him. I ignored his giggles and sat next to Tori who was glancing at me like I was a complete lunatic. Campell disappeared in the back and I settled in my seat, the intercom crackled on and I buckled my seatbelt.

"This is your captain speaking; we'll be traveling for six hours and will be arriving at New York around twelve am. Thank you for your attention and prepare for takeoff."

The plane rumbled awake, its steel exterior vibrated violently and the engines roared loudly outside. To anyone else I'm sure riding in a private jet was amazing, who could resist its sleek design and comfortable seats? The constant air service was tempting too and even being on jet just screamed "I HAVE MONEY," but besides all that, I hated flying. I hate a lot of things; don't get me wrong, I'm the last person to go around liking things left and right. But riding planes takes the cake and shoves it up a camel's ass. When I was a little kid I refused to step in the metal death traps and we'd travel by trains, boats, car, you name it. I'm far from being a person who is too scared of pulling their heads out of their asses to look at the freaking sun and take adventurous escapades. Hell, I've gone skydiving, spelunking, hiking, mountain climbing, snowboarding and swimming with jellyfish! Let's face it I'm a badass.

Well kind of a badass considering I'm quivering in my seat.

"Jade you OK?" Tori's soft voice rang out worriedly.

"Me? What? Of course I'm OK! Why wouldn't I be?" I gritted out cheerily. My stomach curled together when the plane began to move and I held the soft armrest ridiculously tight. I momentarily let go and reached into my pocket, pulling out a piece of gum which I stuck in my mouth quickly.

"Why did you just shovel a piece of gum in your mouth?"

"Because I like minty breath, duh." I chirped grimly.

"You always have minty breath."

I raised my eyebrow and smirked, Tori spluttered and squeaked at her blunt statement and proceeded to bury herself in the chair.

"Glad you've noticed Tori. Please, shut up now."

"You're shaking."

"I don't shake."

"Yeah you do."

"No."

"Yes."

"Wrong."

"Jade."

"Tori."

"Oh my gosh! You're scared of airplanes!" Tori yelled in realization. I sank in my seat and cringed against her wide eyed stare.

"Fine! Yes, I'm scared of airplanes. Who cares?" I turned away from her and reached for my headphones, silently begging for her to drop it.

"Jade…"

My fingers hovered over the PearPod and I sighed loudly, "I don't need your pity Tori."

A warm hand gripped mine firmly but gently and I bared my teeth slightly at the way it seemed to calm my nerves, proving further that Tori had this effect on me. Her bottom lip quivered and I softened up drastically as the tears in her eyes made themselves known.

"I'm sorry." Tori croaked out while her fingers drummed against my wrist.

"What are you sorry for?"

Tori sniffled and wiped her face with the back of her hand. "You have to be on this thing because of me, I should've just waited for another flight."

Here's the funny thing about comforting someone, it is dangerous as hell. It was like walking through a minefield with a blindfold on while tap dancing. Either you had the right words to make them feel better or you had the wrong ones that led you to be a complete ass. I was Jade West, I'm all sarcasm and sex in a nutshell. I suck at consoling people.

"It's not your fault I want to die right now."

See, I'm a fucking dumbass at comforting people.

Oh, she's laughing. That's new.

"You did this for me and here I am crying like an ungrateful boob." She giggled out while wiping her face.

I chuckled along with her, "If it makes you feel any better, I love boobs." Her features instantly brightened at my petty joke and I almost sighed in relief at her mood change.

A wide chastising smile spread across her face and I noticed the way our hands were intertwined together intimately. With a sense of self sacrifice and a regretful frown I gently pulled my hand away only to fold them on my lap. I didn't miss the confusion etched onto Tori's face when I retracted away but I chose to ignore it for the sake of both our hearts.

"Let's get to know each other better!" Tori randomly shrieked. I shook my head and bit the inside of my cheek painfully.

"No. You know me enough." I argued mild temperedly.

Tori pouted, "Please."

I glared at her, "N-O."

Her eyes got wider and her she leaned closer to me. I fought inwardly to keep my hands away from her prominent cheekbones, "Stop that."

"I'll stop if you talk to me."

I threw up my hands and let out a groan. Apparently, I'm a weak person all of a sudden. "Whatever!"

"What's your favorite color?"

"Green."

"Cool, mine's is purple."

"I've noticed Tori."

"…."

"…. What?"

"Ask me a question."

I dragged a hand across my face agitated, "Favorite movie?"

"Moulin Rouge."

Wow, that's actually not terrible. "The Scissoring is mine."

"Pfft, obviously. Favorite food," I opened my mouth and clamped it shut when Tori shook her head. "Coffee isn't food." Damn, the girl got me.

"Err, Chicken nuggets." Tori giggled and I grimaced, "Shut up. Chicken nuggets are _**always**_ good."

"I like ribs."

"So you have a cow killing fetish?"

"What? No! That's sick Jade."

I shrugged. "That's life Tori. Favorite Show?"

"iCarly." Heh, Sam Puckett.

"Girly Cow."

"So you have a cartoon cow fetish?"

I grinned mischievously, "Yes."

Tori tapped on her chin in thought, "Favorite thing to do when bored? Aside from writing."

"Play piano."

"Read."

"I never pegged you for a reader. Favorite book? If you say "50 shades of Grey i'll smack your ass till you're fifty shades of red."

Tori gasped indignantly, "That's not my favorite book! Wicked is actually."

"I love that book too. I'd have to say my favorite book is Invisible monsters. Or anything by Anne Rice."

"Vampire lover?"

"Duh. Also girl lover so if you ever want to..." I winked suggestively.

Tori swatted my arm with a smile, "Favorite quote?"

The grin dropped from my face and I stared at her quizzically, "Huh?"

"Favorite quote."

"I heard what you said. It's just really out there."

"How so?"

Because it's fucking embarrassing Tori. "It just came out of nowhere that's all."

"Just answer it West." I bit back a retort and fidget in my seat before mumbling incoherent sentences.

"I can't hear you!" Tori sang playfully.

"_I love you without knowing how, or when or from where, I love you simply and without problems or pride; I love you because I don't know any other ways of loving."_ I inhaled deeply and willed myself to look up into curious brown eyes. "Pablo Neruda…"

Something indescribable happened at that moment when I uttered an old line from an old poem. If this was some poorly written romance novel then I'd have admit to myself that I loved Tori so easily, naturally. Except this isn't some gooey, mushy and heartwarming book, it was real life and you don't get rewrites here. Everyone knows a bottle that's been shaken shouldn't be opened and ignorance proves to blind anyone, so I kept quiet and just watched the way her lips parted softly and her lashes fluttered closed. I paid no attention to the way my heart quickened or the blood that rushed in my ears.

I just leaned back and promised myself I wouldn't be something Tori regretted.

* * *

**I doubt I have to go ranting off and explaining on why Jade refuses to act on her feelings. Right?**

**You guys should understand that it's a very delicate situation and this can't be rushed. **

**So I'll leave you to indulge in your own theories or explanations on the 'Why or Why not's'.**

**Reviews are much appreciated you gorgeous peeps! **

**Have a good one folks!**


	14. Decisions and Sacrifices

**It's been a while! You have all grown nicely, ooh did you get a haircut and damn, I never thought it was possible for you to be more attractive I was wrong.**

**Now that you've all been flattered, I can live right? Not going to kill me because I've been busy with my presents…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, Nickelodeon does. I did not get Elizabeth Gillies or Victoria Justice under my tree. Maybe next year *shrugs*.**

* * *

**Holly POV**

The wounded man on the hospital bed was not the man I married. No, this man was broken and pale, his clean shaven face was scruffy and his cheery smile was now a thin, grim line.

I won't cry anymore, because he's alive even if just _**barely**_ but his heart monitor is still functioning and his limp hand is warm. Trina watches her father's chest moving up and down, her usually talkative demeanor is somber and it breaks my heart further. I get up slowly from my chair and I cringe slightly at the old wood creaking, it's ready to break apart just as I am.

"Trina," I wrap an arm around her shoulder. "He'll be fine. So just try to relax." I offer a weak smile but it comes out like a crooked grimace and I sigh softly.

"MOM!"

My head whips to the door and I catch a frazzled Tori standing there, I feel my knees buckle in relief and I hurry over to her. I hold her close and she buries her head in the crook of my shoulder like she used to when she was younger.

"I didn't know you were coming, I thought all the flights had been taken?" I asked with a tilt of my head. Her tan cheeks burned red and it floored me when a pale, but immensely beautiful girl walked through the door. Her azure eyes were intimidating and they contrasted gorgeously against her raven hair. What interested me the most was how guarded she was, not to mention I was dying to know how she received that black eye.

"This is Jade West," _**West**_? That sounds familiar… "She's the one who brought me here, if it wasn't for her…" Tori didn't finish because chocolate eyes rested on her dad with grave intensity, slender arms uncoiled themselves from me and she sat heavily on the wooden chair next to his bed. I swallowed the lump in my throat and turned to Jade.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Ms. Vega, I'm sorry we had to meet under these terms."

I waved a hand in the air, "Please, call me Holly. Thank you so much, for everything. I've never really met one of Tori's friends."

Jade looked surprised at that but made no move to question me, her eyes settled on Tori and I couldn't help but recognize that familiar spark of concern, could Jade—

Jade's phone rang loudly interrupting my thoughts with the shrill tone, her features morphed into annoyance as she glanced at the caller ID, "Please excuse me. I'll be right back." The combat boots echoed in the hallway as she took the phone call privately.

"Ms. Vega?"

A frail, gray haired man walked through the door and I nervously peered at the clipboard in his right hand. "I'm Doctor Waylend, I'll be the one taking care of your husband. Can we speak outside for a second, unless…" His hand motioned to my daughters and I shook my head in a silent no, he nodded and led me outside the room.

"Your husband is in critical condition. The bullets entered him and never came out and that's a huge problem. If he doesn't get the surgery he needs, then…. He won't make it." The doctor told me with practiced conviction. I nodded my head frantically and raked my hands through my hair.

"Save him. Do whatever you need to because that man right there," I pointed at the door with shaky fingers, "He is my life. And he can't, no, he will _**not**_ die. Do you understand me? You save that man right there because I'm not sure how I could last another day of being uncertain on whether he's going to tell me he loves me again." I finished out desperately, the tears I kept at bay were let loose and I sobbed into the palm of my hand.

Dr. Waylend narrowed his eyes at the clipboard and it shook in his grip, "Your insurance won't cover it." He spoke angrily, the tremor in his voice wavering with pity. I felt my heart stop and twist, how could the insurance not pay for it?

"What do you mean the insurance won't pay for it? He's a cop, they have to pay for it, and for Christ's sake his job description practically says he'll be shot!" I yelled.

"Yes, if a _**criminal**_ were to shoot him. But his partner did, and despite him betraying your husband it does not cover this kind of medical expense."

"What can I do Doctor? I can't afford this."

"I'm not sure, we can have someone from the insurance company down here—"

"I'll pay." Jade appeared from thin air and a cup of coffee in her hand, which she handed to me with a small smile.

I shook my head frowning, "Absolutely not."

"I have too much money for one person, let me help you." She sighed and looked at the doctor, her hand curled around a credit card. "I've been selfish my whole life with my fortune and I care a lot for Tori so please…"

Azure eyes locked with mine and I racked my brain for an excuse, I couldn't accept such a hefty amount of money but what else could I do. I nodded at the Doctor and he went to go make the arrangements, leaving me with Jade and a tense silence.

"Thank you Jade, I can't even begin to express my gratitude. Tori will be so happy—"

"No. Don't tell Tori."

I raised my eyebrows at her scowl, "She deserves to know Jade."

Jade traced the bottom of her chin and avoided my stare, "You know she would feel obligated to make it up to me and I can't take that. I guess you could say I've created an image around her and if that were to shatter… it would change things."

It was so simple, the anguish in her eyes and the selfishness in her actions for a girl she barely knew and a wounded stranger in a hospital miles from her home. "You like her." Jade's eyes widened comically before letting out a hoarse laugh.

"Yeah, I do." A painful smile stuck to her face as she looked down, I shuffled my feet in confusion and stared her down.

"Why don't you tell her? Anyone willing to do all this for someone is good enough for my daughter. I don't care whether you're a girl if that's what you're worried about. She needs to be happy and from what I see, you make her happy." I didn't know this girl, but I genuinely wanted to. There was an unmistakable pain in her actions; she stood strong, though her heart was fragile. She put Tori ahead of herself without hesitation and that warranted the outmost respect.

"I can't take a chance on an assumption Ms. Vega. I won't be the selfish one anymore; I want Tori happy on her own regard, even if I'm out of the picture." Jade shrugged and gave me half a smile.

"But—"

Jade held the carton filled with coffee and gave it to me, "Make sure your daughters get some caffeine, they look worn out. There are also some muffins in the bag; I didn't know what they'd like… I'll be right back; I have to make a call to the hotel I'm staying at." She retreated down the hallway; the sound of combat boots clomping down was suddenly comforting. I opened the door to the room and found Tori crying on the chair closest to the door.

I set down the coffee and muffins quickly before holding her in my arms, shushing her softly and running my fingers through her hair. "Shh, it'll be okay Baby. Dad's going to be fine, the surgery is going to happen in a little bit so no need to worry."

"It's not that! I heard everything with Jade, mom." I froze against her and she gently pushed herself away from me. "Why would she do that?! WHY?!" Her hands pounded the leather armrest and I hastily took them in my hands.

"I don't know…" I lied; I assumed she didn't hear Jade's confession. It wasn't my place to tell her, it was Jades and she would have to be her own Catalyst. So I kept quiet.

Because keeping quiet was a lot easier than speaking with a weeping heart.

* * *

**I like Tori's mom. She's chill. For those of you who may be confused, Tori didn't hear Jade saying "Yeah I do." (Admitting to Tori's mom that she liked her.)**

**Haven't heard from you guys in a while so leave a review!**

**Btw, Tori and Jade are in New York, during Christmas break, if you guys have something you want in the next few chapters let me know!**

**Love yah peeps!**


	15. In Out

**You guys are just flawless.**

**I mean, I can't even explain how perfect your reviews are. How do you guys do that? Is there a book I haven't read on "How to be better than everyone else you know?" Can I read it?**

**Man, fuck that. I wrote it.**

**Jokes on you nerds!**

…**.**

**Just read the damn story.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, Nickelodeon does. I own a couple pieces of bacon? Anyone want a piece? No? Well then... **

* * *

"You did what?!" Beck shouted in my ear.

"I paid for her father's medical bill, did I stutter?" I snapped with a grimace.

"Why would you do that?!" Beck exclaimed and I could practically see him waving his arms over his head with shock.

"Because her mother couldn't afford it."

"That's not what I'm asking Jade."

I raked a hand through my hair and glanced up at the ceiling planes; I tried to count every hole and failed miserably each time. "Because I'm a wonderful friend…."

Beck sighed loudly on the phone and I heard some rummaging, he grunted before letting out a breath of relief. "Sorry I was getting comfortable; this is going to be a long talk."

"I'm not one for long winded speeches."

"Well that's too fucking bad." Beck growled in agitation, "This goes beyond friendship; this even pushes just a simple attraction. This is lov—"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence Oliver!"

"Why because it's true?! God, how ignorant are you? I don't understand why you're so hesitant to admit that you have feelings for her."

I stared at a passing nurse before continuing, "You know why Beck."

"No, please elaborate because I am definitely out of the loop."

"I just… I don't, fuck I—"I rested my head on the palm of my hand and took a ragged inhale. "Tori should be happy with someone as vomit-inducing kind as she is. She needs long walks on the beaches at midnight, she needs to be told she's beautiful a minimum of four times a day. She needs gardenias taped to her favorite CD's and little notes inside her purse, she needs someone who will put them ahead of everything even themselves but most importantly she should be loved without any hesitation or doubt. I- I- I can't do that. I _**won't**_ do that."

A beat of silence followed and I looked up at the Vega's hospital door, "Beck, her father is in surgery. Her mother is holding herself together with silent prayers and her sister hasn't uttered a word since I got here. The last thing Tori needs is some fucked up girl chasing after her. So please keep your know-it-all bullshit at a low level, OK?"

"You're not fucked up." Beck argued weakly, sympathy laced his tone and I clenched my hands with frustration.

"Yeah, well I am. I have to go and make sure Tori's doing okay." I hung up and lifted myself off the chair with shaking legs. I placed my hand on the door handle and hung my head against the door, I am so fucked. Utterly and horribly screwed.

"Hello Jade, the doctor just came in and said David should be wheeled over here now." Holly practically beamed and I offered a small smile.

"Glad to hear." I responded genuinely grateful to hear there were no complications.

It's been four grueling hours and I haven't seen Tori move once, her back looks painfully hunched over and the only time she's acknowledged me was to whisper a bitter thanks that left me confused. When they finally arrived with David, Ms. Vega couldn't stop smiling. After Mr. Vega woke up from his surgery another hour later, the frown was never present even when the doctor came in and explained the risks of moving too fast or not taking therapy seriously. Ms. Vega nodded with rapt attention and I saw Tori also listening intently while shooting me occasionally odd looks that I couldn't decipher and I returned them with raised eyebrows that she skillfully avoided. And it bothered me to no end.

Holly placed a hand on my shoulder with a sympathetic smile, "You look tired, go get some sleep. We'll probably be here all night. And do me a favor?"

I nodded cautiously.

"Take Tori with you. Trina is staying at her friend's apartment tonight and I don't want Tori home alone." Holly turned to an exhausted looking Tori and motioned her over. "Go with Jade and get some rest."

Tori's eyes widened, "But mom—"

Holly raised a hand up and Tori quieted quickly. "You will do as I say young lady. You're going to sleep until at least noon and then Jade is going to take you out to a nice lunch," Holly winked at me and I chuckled lightly. "After that you guys are going to have some fun and then, and only then, can you come visit your father, who I assure you, is going to do a tremendous recovery."

We both nodded weakly and I held the door opened for Tori while saying my goodbyes. We fell into step next to each other on the cold marble floor, nurses and doctors bustled around us while I contemplated on how to talk to Tori.

"How are you doing?" I asked as we made our way to the rental car, I held the passenger side open for her and settled inside the driver's side.

"How do you think I'm feeling Jade?" Tori retorted back uncharacteristically, she stared at the window not even bothering to meet my eyes.

"You feel like nothing is going right, your father is recovering but it still scares you that something could go wrong any moment. You hate that you're useless, that there is absolutely nothing you could do to help out your father and it kills you to see him on a hospital bed tied to monitors and stuck with needles. But most of all, you regret leaving your mother alone and you regret going to the hotel with me because you feel that you should suffer exhaustion as much as she will." I replied easily. I didn't miss the way her shoulder sagged at the nature of my honesty.

She stayed quiet and I bit back a groan, "Can you just talk to me Tori?"

"For someone who is so out of sync with their own feelings you sure like to dissect others. I think you should switch your major from English to Psychology." Tori sneered.

"Godamnit Tori! I'm trying here!" I yelled loudly, my chest shook violently and I had to stop myself from punching the window in anger.

"Don't try then Jade! You have made it so hard to understand you, one minute you're closed off and bitter and the next you're trying to help me out with that stupid smile of yours!" Tori shouted back, her eyes narrowed and her lips curled back with impatience. She faced the window with her arms crossed as we pulled up to the Hotel Valet. Noting the few cars in front of us, I unbuckled my seat belt and placed my hand on her headrest.

"Tori, look at me." She refused and I felt the rage boiling inside of me dangerously, "Look. At. Me." I growled out harshly, she turned with surprise etched on her face and I felt myself cool down slightly. "I'm_** trying**_. I want to be better at this, I want to make our friendship last." Her mouth opened to interrupt and I gave her a menacing glare, I leaned closer to her; our faces practically inches apart. "I won't allow you to shut me out. Not ever. Are we _**fucking **_clear?"

"Yes." Tori breathed out and I squeezed the leather headrest against my hands, her face leaned closer and every warning bell in my head went off. I ignored them all when I saw her eyes shut close and a flash of pink run against her lips. I was so close, she was just centimeters away and I almost groaned with relief. I wanted this, so badly and I-

A knock pounded on her window and we broke apart like someone had set the space between us on fire. I almost decked the sheepish looking man when he muttered, "Valet."

Tori clutched her chest and hastily left the car, I dropped my head on the horn and let the car continuously beep.

* * *

I slammed my head on the pillow and gathered my breathing, I was comfy with my teeth brushed and dressed in pajama shorts and a thin tank top. I can hear the water running in the bathroom and I concentrate on my breathing. Anything to help me fall asleep.

_**In. Out. In. Out.**_

_**Tori…**_

"Jade?" Tori called out and I lifted my head slowly from the pillow. A large NYPD T-shirt was hanging from Tori's skinny frame and I tried not to blush at the way her impossibly long legs were peeking out.

"Yeah?"

Tori squirmed under my gaze; her arm shot up and rubbed against her elbow nervously. "Is it okay if I… Would it be alright if I…"

"You can sleep with me Tori, just turn off the lights." Tori rushed to shut off the lights and practically sprinted to my bed. She made sure not to bump into me as she settled down, the tension was thick between us and I frowned when I heard barely audible sobs. I reached over and turned her over to me, blindly I wiped the tears away and hugged her unbearably close.

"I'm so sorry f-for being a bit-ch to you in the car, I was depressed and mad at my mother for forcing me to leave my dad."

I shushed her gently, "Stop apologizing. I get it."

"Sing for me." She whispered pleadingly against my neck.

"Why?"

"You don't do it often and I really like to hear you, please…."

_Always in a rush  
Never stay on the __phone__ long enough  
Why am I so self-important?  
Said I'd see you soon  
But that was, oh, maybe a year ago  
Didn't know time was of the essence._

**Tori I think I love you.**

_So many questions  
But I'm talking to myself  
I know that you can't hear me any more  
Not anymore  
So much to tell you  
And most of all goodbye  
But I know that you can't hear me any more._

**I'm so fucking scared. How do you stop yourself from loving someone?**

_It's so loud inside my head  
With words that I should have said  
And as I drown in my regrets  
I can't take back the words I never said  
I never said  
I can't take back the words I never said._

**You have to understand, I never **_**meant**_** for this to happen. Please believe me**.

_Always talking shit  
Took your advice and did the opposite  
Just being young and stupid  
I haven't been all that you could've hoped for  
But if you'd held on a little longer  
You'd have had more reasons to be proud._

**I won't destroy us. There is no us. I can't ever let there be an 'us'. **

_So many questions  
But I'm talking to myself  
I know that you can't hear me any more  
Not anymore  
So much to tell you  
And most of all goodbye  
But I know that you can't hear me any more._

_It's so loud inside my head  
With words that I should have said  
And as I drown in my regrets  
I can't take back the words._

**Forgive me, I can't help myself. You've crashed into my life so recklessly and now I'm weak from the collision. What do I do Tori? **

_The longer I stand here  
The louder the silence  
I know that you're gone but sometimes I swear that I hear  
Your voice when the wind blows  
So I talk to the shadows  
Hoping you might be listening 'cos I want you to know._

**You're my biggest problem and yet, you're the solution. Does that make sense? You've destroyed everything and I have no idea where to go from here. **

_It's so loud inside my head  
With words that I should have said  
And as I drown in my regrets  
I can't take back the words I never said  
I never said  
I can't take back the words I never said  
Never said  
I can't take back the words I never said._

**I thought I was invulnerable; I built myself all over again. You changed it all so easily. I figured that my heart was made up of rusted chains and barbed wire. It doesn't beat anymore, just hums occasionally. Yet, it's so loud when I'm around you.**

I finished the last note and felt Tori's even breathing warm my cold skin. I shut my eyes and listened to my breathing.

* * *

_**In. Out. In. Out.**_

**Song is Words by Skylar Grey. It is fantastic.**

**Leave a review or ill haunt you.**

**Hah, I'm a liar. I'm too cool to die.**

**It's called immortality folks. **


	16. Tripping

**I haven't updated in a while! **

**Jade and Tori were getting antsy. Damn bitches, always threatening to get their mack on. No class. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, Nickelodeon does. I have a jiggly heart.**

* * *

"Wow, I missed New York. Las Angeles is fabulous, but New York is _**magical**__._" Tori chirped next to me. I tried not to pay attention to her wind-blown cheeks and her rosy nose.

"It's fucking freezing Tori." I growled as my hands balled into fists in my leather jacket, her weak glare made me choke on my laugh. I held my hands up in defeat, "The snow is pretty cool." My response seemed to appease her enough and I chuckled into the warmth of my Navy blue scarf before spotting a quaint Diner. I pointed it out to her and she beamed at me before grabbing my hand and dragging me across the street. We weaved through traffic and I laughed at the angry Taxi drivers as we carelessly made our way to the sidewalk.

I reached the door and held it open for her, "After you ma'am." I tipped an imaginary hat while Tori waltzed in with a dramatic wave. We sat in a booth and an old, auburn haired waitress with a gap in her smile welcomed us politely.

"What would you dearies like?" Rosie, the waitress asked as she pulled a pencil from atop her ear.

"I'd like a hot chocolate with blueberry pancakes please." Tori asked kindly.

I nodded at the waitress, "I'll take coffee with some chocolate pancakes. Thanks." Tori stared at me with wide eyes and I raised my eyebrows in return. "What?"

Tori shook her head, "It's weird seeing you order something so… _**childish**_."

I gaped at her, "Pancakes are always delicious Tori. In fact, in my death bed I'll order the biggest stack of chocolate pancakes known to man. Just for you."

"What an honor!" Tori mocked with a laugh.

"Hey! This is a huge honor! I don't think you know how much it pains me to admit that I'll be dying one day, let alone biting the dust with pancakes as my last meal."

"You don't like admitting that you'll die one day?"

Rosie brought our drinks out and I thanked her before returning my attention back to Tori. I circled the top of my mug and sighed. "I have this, _**issue,**_ with dying. Death is one of those things I don't like thinking about; it genuinely frightens me to be so unsure about what happens after. Let me ask you a question, and I want you to be perfectly honest. Do you remember the name of your great, great, great grandfather?"

Tori bit her lip and shook her head looking guiltily at her hot chocolate. I reached over and ran my thumb across her knuckles. "Don't look so guilty kid. I didn't mean to sound so accusing, I was just pointing out that even the most necessary, important people in our lives become a forgotten memory qt some point. Maybe it's because I hold such a high regard to authors and books, to the things that seem so ageless and then I look at myself and think, 'how fucking scary it is that one day, someone else will be standing right here and not even know I existed.' Right now for instance, anyone could have sat here with their troubles or their happiness and maybe they had just found the love of their life sitting a table away from them or their son or daughter has been born and they're rushing to get the check and storm out to the hospital. We forget that people have been here for millions of years with different mentalities and morals because we don't remember that they died or who they were before that."

Tori intertwined our fingers together and I controlled the sharp intake of breath that threatened to make itself known at the simple contact. "Tell you what Jade, I'll remember you as long as I live and you'll remember me as long as you live. And whatever happens after that, if we meet god or reincarnate or even become a tree, I'll find you."

My heart pounded in my chest and I ignored the odd tingles in my arm, "I'll hold you to that Tori."

"Alright, we got some pancakes for some lovely ladies!" Rosie barked cheerfully and I regretfully let go of Tori's hand to pick up my fork.

"Christmas is in three days."

I nodded after a sip of Coffee. "Great observation. Don't get me anything."

Tori's shoulders slumped, her eyes glanced down and a pout formed on her lips. "But I want to get you something. You've done a lot for me."

"I took you to New York and that's it." I responded curtly.

She mumbled something under her breath and turned to the window. "Fine, you can't get me anything either."

"You're not the boss of me. I'll buy you two presents."

"No."

I made a buzzing sound. "Wrong answer the correct response was, now you're getting three presents."

"Whatever!"

"Now you've made it to four. Keep talking Vega, I'm filthy stinking rich; we could do this all day."

Tori shoveled a piece of pancake in her mouth, not saying a word more.

* * *

"Alright Tori, where next?"

The air curls around her exhale of breath, brown eyes glaze over at the skyscrapers and I shuffle my feet in thought. "We can go to the huge Toy Store with the Ferris wheel inside of it."

"Fuck that."

"No need to be so crude Jade!" Tori snaps.

I shrug my shoulders before tapping my phone screen; I smirk at the abundance of text messages in my inbox. A bunch of, 'We should get together again,' and a whole lot of sexts with pictures tied to them. I deleted most of them without a second glance and catch a flicker of annoyance on Tori's face as I stop to do so.

"Sorry. I was getting rid of some messages." I grinned sheepishly.

Tori narrowed her eyes and huffed cutely, "Yeah, from whom?"

Ok, so I can totally tell the truth or I can take the easy way and lie. Do I have time to weigh my pros and cons first? Shit, she's looking at me. I got this.

"It was a bunch of girls asking for sex." I deadpanned truthfully, lying is for the unhealthy, and being harshly blunt is a lot more fun anyway. And judging by the way Tori is fuming; I can positively say I'm thoroughly amused.

She grinds her teeth noticeably and I'm beaming. "OH. I see." What do you see? What do you see? Hey, Tori, whatcha seeing? "You should probably answer them. Don't want to keep your fan club waiting."

My shoulders drop and I fall back into my casual arrogance, "Tori," I hissed playfully. "It's not my fault I'm so _**amazing**_ at what I do. I could teach you sometime, a little experimenting and some testing should gather a great amount of experience on your part."

"That's- I- shut up." Tori folded her arms and I barked a laugh at the red hues on her tanned cheek. We walked in comfortable silence and I snuck a couple of glances at a sullen Tori while I paid for our skates.

I pulled on my skates while Tori looked dumbly at hers. "You actually have to put them on if you want to skate."

"I know that!"

"Get to it then Victoria." I murmured as I triumphantly tied my shoelaces and patted my knees.

"I don't know how to skate." Tori mumbled with a pout as I stared at her.

"You lived in New York your whole life and never learned to skate? Inexcusable, put those skates on right now. I'm going to teach you how to skate and I'll be damned if you don't learn by the end of today. After that we'll see your dad and you can tell him how awesome you are in the ice rink." I prompted with a determined smile.

She looked up at me and I rubbed my thumb and index finger together at the way her shy smile burned into my insides. Like she couldn't believe that I would help her, that I would be here with her every step of the way. That one tiny smile conveyed what her words failed to do and I took it in with genuine adoration because Tori had my heart and I silently pleaded I wouldn't take hers.

She finished tying up her laces and I led her to the small, open gate in front of us. I took a step in and righted myself before holding my hand out to her. "Take it easy. I'll be right there." Her lip was captured between her teeth and she reached out to grab my hand, her fingers stayed glue to my wrist and my lips curled upwards when I gently guided her on the ice.

"Don't stand so straight, you'll end up falling. Center the weight to your middle and relax." I told her while I carefully held her at arm's length. Tori stumbled and wobbled, her arm was secured to the edge of the rink and her other arm was binding me close to her.

"I'm scared I'll fall!" Tori yelped in fear.

I skated closer and grabbed her by the waist, I sent us both to the ground and Tori shrieked at me. "Why the heck did you do that?!"

"Because, every time you fall, I'll fall with you, and I'll pull you right back up again." I did just that and resumed skating. I barked a few orders and we ended up tripping a couple of more times before she could stand up on her own and take cautious steps.

"Oh my god! I'm doing it; do you see me right now?! I'm skating!" Tori laughed and the nearby skaters chuckled at her antics. "Can we go get some hot chocolate and see my dad?"

I smiled widely, "Anything you want." She squealed and threw her arms around my neck, I was caught off guard and we fell back onto the ice. I grunted at the impact but promptly resumed laughing.

Falling for Tori wasn't as bad as I initially thought.

* * *

**It's one of those relationships, building fillers. They can't just jump into it, we gotta ease are way into the love fest. Like 007 style. Suave and dangerous with a hint of humor and a sprinkle of jealousy. **

**Reviews are like cotton candy, I shove it in my mouth. **


	17. A heart to heart

**Thank you all for your jaw opening, thong dropping, eye watering reviews! I could not have come this far without the support of you guys and it still amazes me how much you guys actually like this story. This chapter is a bit short but with good reason, I feel as though if I pour to much sentimental emotions in one chapter it loses it's effect on the story. That's just me.**

**Big news, I've got a couple of stories lined up, A Faberry story (Rachel and Quinn for those of you who don't know) another Jori story that is being written carefully, but slowly as I want it to be perfect and what not. I might do a couple of one-shots here and there so you guys don't get bored and I get a bit of practice out of it as well.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, Nickelodeon does. Last episode of Victorious is this Friday; hope the fandom doesn't die…**

* * *

When I was little I walked to the playground at night by myself. I'd fall backwards on the slide instead of forward, I jumped off the highest swing and almost broke my ankles and I even spent hours digging up sand for no apparent reason. But what I remember the most was the monkey bars, I'd climb them and then hoist myself on the top before hanging upside down and letting the blood rush to my head. I would just hang there, waiting for my eyes to get blurry and my head to pound while I felt dizzy. It was peaceful, in my own fucked up way; I didn't have to think about my parents splitting or the fact that I had to cry myself to sleep every single day. I didn't have to pretend to be OK. I was just a sad girl on the monkey bars with my life falling apart in the background.

So when I see Mr. Vega smiling with his daughters and Ms. Vega laughing warmly at the scene, I can't help but feel happy that they never had to be a part of something so tragic. Witnessing love die like that crushes you, unbelievably so.

"Jadey, my girl, come play monopoly with us!" Mr. Vega exclaimed with a grin.

I clasped my hands over the flat panes of my stomach and shook my head. "No thanks Mr. Vega," his pout grew and I chuckled lowly. "Maybe next time. I'm about to go pick up some food, anyone want anything?"

"Nonsense, you stay here with David while the girls come with me to pick up some pizza. Leave the food to us, this is a job for a New Yorker." Ms. Vega winked and her hands found her purse before taking a reluctant Tori and a starving Trina out the door.

"Holly told me what you did." Mr. Vega said simply. "I wanted to say thank you, I owe you a big one."

I waved it off with a blush, "You don't owe me anything. I did it because I could and I wanted to."

Mr. Vega offered me a sly smile and I gulped nervously. "You sure it wasn't for my daughter?"

"Huh?" I respond dumbly.

He pulls himself into an upright position and leans over for the Styrofoam cup on his night table. He takes an exaggerated amount of water into his mouth and swallows hard; he ponders for a bit and fiddles with his hands. He reminds me of Tori, how before she'd answer she'd curl her fingers around her other fingers and let me sweat instead of answering right away.

"I fell in love with Holly when I was about twenty. I was still in college training in Criminology when this beautiful girl crossed the courtyard where I had lunch and I almost spilled my pudding cup. She was incandescent; she had a smile that left me in a cold sweat and a gaze that had the air in my lungs tumbling out. Of course, she didn't notice me." Mr. Vega smiled and his face took a more youthful look as he wallowed in nostalgia. "Surprisingly we ended up as partners in a weird, after school assignment and she just outright hated me. She could not stand my arrogance, seethed every time someone even approached me and yelled at me whenever I was bold enough to call her out on it. I was being driven mad and one day I just kissed her and it was shocking, fearful and it was so vulnerable. I was scared and she just smiled at me before kissing me again. I took a chance, even when it felt like she could do nothing but despise me, I took it." Mr. Vega ran a finger over the gold band on his left ring. "I see you, a girl in New York on her winter break, away from family and friends just for some other girl. A girl named Jade who paid for my medical bills without hesitation, who comforted my daughter without anyone asking her too and who blatantly refused to let her know that she was the reason her father is alive on his hospital bed."

I rubbed my palms together and looked at the clean floor. "You love my daughter Jade."

"Yeah." I croaked out, "But I won't let her love me."

"And why not?"

"My parents divorced when I was younger," I started abruptly; "I was too young to understand what was going on, but, I understood the 'Why' behind it. My mother didn't love my father anymore, that much was understandable and my father, who, I worshipped at that time just grew cold and distant when she packed her bags. I learned that she fell for another man, she chose love over family and it broke us apart. So if she got her happy ending, does that mean my father and I had to lose ours?"

I placed a hand on my forehead and laughed bitterly, "I was bitter for a long time and then… I met a girl. I didn't even know I was remotely gay at that point but she just worked her way into my heart so easily and tore down my defenses with simple promises and I didn't know what the hell to do. So I let it happen, I just settled back and floated on as the waves crashed against my body because I was happy. I was happy that I had someone there for me; someone who I thought loved me. Long story short, I was going to propose and that same day she broke up with me on the terms of 'I don't think I ever loved you despite being together for four years.' So you have to understand Mr. Vega, I'm hesitant for myself to act on my own feelings, but what really keeps me at bay is the fact that your daughter has so much potential and I won't be the one to crush it. The difference between Tori and I is that I want the happy ending but she _**needs **_it."

Mr. Vega rubbed the stubble on his jaw, a slight frown appeared on his face and he trapped me with hazel eyes. "Take a chance Jade."

"I have a lot to lose."

"And if she doesn't love you then she has as much to lose."

The room door creaked open and I almost toppled out of my chair at an annoyed looking Tori and a smug Trina.

"I wanted cheese, I hate pineapples." Tori mumbled when she took her seat next to me. She looked between her dad and I with a suspicious gleam in her eye. "What have you guys been up to?"

Mr. Vega laughed around a bite of pizza, "Oh you know, girl stuff."

We all laughed out heartily and I catch the wink he shot me before taking a bite of his pizza. He only smiled wider when I felt Tori's hand curl against my wrist with a blush.

"My dad really likes you." Tori whispered next to me whilst her parents talked quietly, to lost in each other to notice Trina yapping into her phone loudly next to them.

"No one is able to resist the West charm." I prompted arrogantly. A brush of her lips touched my cheek and I gaped at her with a goofy smirk.

"Not at all." Tori agreed.

* * *

**A little heart to heart with Papa Vega is always good. Personally, I think Mr. Vega has the right idea; Jade should just kiss Tori already and get it done with. I mean, Tori is beautiful, Jade is gorgeous, Tori is nice, Jade is mean, it's the perfect match.**

**Seriously though, I can't understand why Gay couples aren't more prominent in TV shows. If the chemistry is as good as they make it out to be, why isn't it Canon?**

**Here's the part well I tell you to leave me a review! So leave me a review if you got a smile and a jiggly heart!**

**JIGGLY HEART.**


	18. Old Friends, New Revelations

**Truthfully I've been gone so long that it makes me feel like you people packed your bags and destroyed your internet routers. And that would suck. "Maybe you shouldn't keep us waiting that long then." BUT I HAVE SCHOOL. "WE DON'T GIVE A SHIT ALY." *Sniffles* Okay… "Are you crying?" I HAVE SOMETHING IN MY EYES. SHUT UP.**

**I feel like that's how we would have conversations…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, Nickelodeon does. I spent Valentine's day with a guy who tried to dry hump me while we were drunk. It was amusing to say the least. **

"Tori," I raked my hands through jean clad thighs and squeezed roughly, the swivel of her hips had me hissing with delight. "You are so fucking beautiful."

A whimper drew from lush lips as I nibbled lightly on the crook of her neck; I brought my head down and licked her collarbone before blowing on it. She tasted so sweet, so different than any other girl I've had sex with. Her skin let alone drove me wild and I hadn't even pulled her clothes off, I groaned at the foreplay but I had to take my time; I had to build it up. I had to draw it out.

So I fingered the hem of her shirt, lightly tracing my fingers on the silver of tan skin peeking out. Dilated eyes were hardening, a pink tongue wet lips with anticipation and I was barely able to keep my movements slow. After what seems like hours I pull the shirt over her head. Every girl before has seemed so pointless when I stare at the flawless, unblemished golden skin. Tori squirms underneath me and tries to shield herself from my devouring eyes. I hastily remove her arms, placing them above her head.

"You're perfect," I rasped out, "the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen in my life."

"Jade." The tone of her voice sent chills down my spine and a fire curled in the pit of my stomach.

"Jade."

"JADE."

I abruptly rolled over and was faced with curious brown eyes; I groggily noted the way her body was curled into mine. Fuck, it was just a dream. A really realistic, sexy, wet inducing dream.

"I've been trying to wake you up for ten minutes. You just kept mumbling and groaning." Tori stated with concern. Guilt manifested in my chest, I looked away hoping she wouldn't catch the shame that lingered on my face. It felt so… _**dirty **_to fantasize about a girl like Tori (not that there were many girls like her), I buried my head in my pillow and composed myself. She seriously needed to stop sneaking into my bed when her bed is just as comfortable; the willpower I have is diminishing every second her body is pressed against mine.

I need a cold shower. Ignoring the sounds of confusion, I hopped in the shower and froze my hot ass off.

* * *

"I don't see why we need to split up." Tori whined for the hundredth time.

I rolled my eyes. "Because Christmas is in two days and I need to get everyone presents. And you need to go spend as much time with your family before we leave on Monday." I pointed out.

"But I really want to spend time with you," I ignored the quiver in my chest. "My dad will be fine."

"Tori, we have all the time for that later. You live with me, remember? We'll hang out till the point you're sick of me and move out. Spend some time with the family and I'll see you later."

"Dinner?" Tori asked hopefully.

"Sure. Wherever you want."

I turned around and headed out the hotel room before Tori shouted my name; I pivoted slightly and faced her, "Yeah?"

"I don't know if you were kidding about the amount of presents you were getting me for Christmas but… just get me one, okay?"

I shook my head and glanced at the ceiling, "Alright, fine. But," I held up my finger at the indignation written across her face, "I'm making it a significant one." At this Tori laughed.

"Everything you do is significant."

_When it pertains to you. _I smiled warmly. "Sometimes."

* * *

New York is beautiful, magical in every sense of the way like Tori had said. Despite the towering skyscrapers, the magazine stands and the stores on every corner, it feels like a place that you could walk alone in without a passing glance of someone. And there's so much culture and freedom packed into this city; it all comes together like a woven blanket of different materials and colors and you can't even imagine the shape of something so diverse.

I tip my head upwards and lean back on a bench facing the heart of the city.

"Not from New York?" A soft voice asks. I jump up and hold the palm of my hand to my chest as I whirl around, ready to yell bloody murder at the idiot sitting next to me.

"Jesus, Woman! Give me a freaking heart atta—"I stop momentarily when my eyes finally set on her. Familiar hazel eyes dance with mirth and brown locks of hair curl around her heart shaped face. She's smiling widely like she knows something I don't and considering how she planted herself next to me with a (very) true statement, doesn't have me doubting her. "Alyssa." I breathe out.

"What's up Jadey?" The smug tone of her voice has me scowling and huffing like a petulant child.

"Don't call me that!" I growled.

A warm hand wrapped around my shoulders bringing me closer. Alyssa breathed in, "How's Beck?"

I glared at her, arms crossing over my chest defensively. "Why do you care?"

She looked away guiltily. "I still care about him."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Funny, our definition of 'care' is different."

"It was a mistake!"

"A mistake is spilling milk on the table. A mistake is misspelling the word Wednesday. A mistake is dropping a vase in your house. Cheating on someone is not a mistake!"

Alyssa stood and paced in front of me, hands clasped behind her back and her head held high. "It is a mistake when you love someone." She spoke gently. Hazel eyes took in the dirty side walk and they blinked back tears as they did so. Her voice was shaky as she continued, "What I did was inexcusable. I regret it and I wish I could turn back time to fix it," her gaze burned into mine. "You certainly know what that feels like."

I swallowed hard. Anger pulsed in my veins and I pulled myself up to my full height, just centimeters above her. "Don't you dare compare me to you."

She scoffed, "So you wouldn't want to change things with Cat if you could? We both know you love her. And we both know you would give anything to fix what happened between you guys."

"She chose this! She wanted to break up. You can't fix things like that you fucking moron!"

"And what if she had reasons Jade?! What if you unknowingly did something that made her leave you?! What if it was your fault? What would you do now? Would you mend it?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"If you had the opportunity to set things right with Cat, would you?"

I felt the muscles in my jaw clench. What would I do? A year ago my name was always associated with hers; Cat and _**Jade **_went out and sang in the rain. Cat and _**Jade **_was Hollywood Arts 'forever' couple. Cat and _**Jade **_are done, finished, over. No one could deny that Cat was a part of me, she had burrowed herself under my defenses and I loved her. _**Loved. **_Past tense. The revelation shook me to my core. Given the chance, that opportunity months ago to set things right; to fix things with Cat would've made me ecstatic. Because I had loved her. And maybe I still love her but I'm not _**in **_love with her. Not after Tori.

"I don't love her anymore. Cat made her choice and I…. moved on."

Alyssa gaped at me, disbelief etched across her features. "Are you serious? I never thought…" Her mouth shut closed and the corners of her lips curled upwards, "There's someone else isn't there?"

How did she do that? "I- I think so. Well, I hope so." I sheepishly added. "I really, really like this girl."

"If she has Jade 'Bitch' West being all doe eyed and soft spoken, I have to meet her." She commented.

I scoffed at her bubbling laugh. "We were planning on getting a bite after I do some Christmas shopping," I looked at my watch and my eyes widened comically, "shit, it's almost five! I have to go pick up the presents I ordered! You still have my number right?" She nodded rapidly. "Alright, cool. I'll give you a call about dinner later okay?"

"Go get your girl some presents! Make sure they don't suck!" I flashed her middle finger and walked briskly down the streets of New York, where strangers become familiars and old friends stop being memories.

* * *

**This chapter was a quickie (not the kind you have with your ex in a bathroom stall, you slut) but we are getting to that point. THAT POINT IN WHICH WE DO NOT RETURN. *CUE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA MUSIC***

**Still working on another Jori story and I like to think of it as pretty AU. Hope you guys will like it when I post the few chapters up soon. Also, Faberry fans are getting their story too. CAUSE FABERRY IS RAD. AND I FUCKING HATE GLEE. ANYONE WHO SAW LAST NIGHTS EPISODE IS BLEEDING INTERNALLY LIKE ME. THEY RUINED RACHEL AND THEY RUINED QUINN. AND WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY BRITTANA DAMNIT?! MY CAPS LOCK ALSO HATES GLEE. **

**Please leave a review.**

**Or your phone number. **

**Both are equally useful to me. **


	19. Dinner plans

**To your left you can see oxygen particles and if you turn to your right you can see me laughing hysterically over the newest rumors on Glee. And if you look forward, I am also preparing my ninja bears to kill Ryan Murphy. **

**I remember a time when I hated Television. When I was free of these multicolored, fandom shackles you call 'shipping.'**

**I HAD A DREAM MY LIFE WOULD BE, SO DIFFERENT FROM THIS HELL I'M LIVING. SO DIFFERENT NOW FROM WHAT IT SEEMED. NOW TV HAS KILLED THE DREAM I DREAMED. *Cue the applause***

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, Nickelodeon does. *Breathes heavily* SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE.**

* * *

"Done with Christmas shopping?" Tori called out as I threw my coat on the bed. I jumped on the bed and burrowed in the warm sheets.

"Yup." I settled deep in the covers and shook my limbs out in search of warmth.

I loved the cold. I liked how it made the day brighter, made it more enjoyable to walk inside stores and huddle close to the people around you. Loved the way it chilled your skin and made you curl into the depths of your insides comfortably. I could spend my whole life throwing on sweaters, scarves, jeans and gloves. I liked the way my breath was its own entity every time I spoke, the way it seeped into the air as I blended the words carefully when they left my mouth.

"How's your dad doing?" My voice sounded through the pillow.

Tori crawled onto the bed and I hesitantly wrapped my arm around her waist, smiling when she came closer. "He's good. Asking for you to play some monopoly with him, he's convinced you cheated last time."

I laughed. "I did not! I'm just a business genius."

Tori hummed in response. "Jeez, you're cold." She wiggled until her body was flush against mine and covered both our bodies with the comforter. "Mmm, much better. Nap time."

"Y'know, you have a bed over there." I pointed out teasingly.

Her eyes searched mine with embarrassment and I eased her worries with a small smile. "I'm joking Tori, you can stay with me as long as you please."

"And what if I say forever?" She mumbled.

I opened my mouth to reply before shutting it quickly. I racked my brain for a response - anything, something - to say to her. Because I could not convey how those six words made my heart swell and how the desire to kiss the insides of her wrists and just being able to tell her how much I cared for her grew each passing second. I could not, because even I didn't know how much I cared for her. Only that I did and it made me feel invincible and brilliant and a little weak.

But that I was okay with it.

"I'd say that I wouldn't mind a bit." I kiss her forehead when her breathing turns heavy with sleep.

I've thought of a thousand things in a span of a few hours. I've thought of the way snow looks warm and how the sun looks cold to the touch. I've thought of how shallow people and generous ones are the best of friends, regardless of ideals and morals.

I've thought of a thousand ways to tell Tori that I love— like her. Let's ease the love into it. I suppose the romantic gesture should be extravagant. Except, I'm certain Tori doesn't like that. She isn't flashy, she likes the small things. The tiny, significant gestures. The ones often missed. And I love her a little more for that. So when it does happen, when I do tell her; and I will tell her, it will be simple and lovely.

Like Tori Vega herself.

* * *

"So, Alyssa is joining us for dinner?" Tori asks with mild distaste as she sprays perfume on her wrists and rubs them together.

I brush some invisible lint off my dark jeans and nod in her direction. "Yes. I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable after the whole 'cheating on Beck' incident. But, she's changed since then and despite what happened between them, she was a good friend to me. And, you'll like her. I'm sure of it."

That adorable tilt of the head made itself known, "How are you so sure?"

"Well, she adores pushing my buttons and being a pain in my ass."

"She seems like a blast."

"A fucking walk in the park." I comment dryly.

We both sigh in comfort when we reach the restaurant and a soothing warmth envelope us. I smile at the lady working behind the desk, giving her my name for the reservation. "Right this way Ms. West."

She leads us to the table with a curt nod and tells us that our waiter will arrive shortly. I remind her that we have one more guest joining us and if she could please point her to our table when she does make an appearance.

"Oy! Nice to meet you Tori, oh, sup Jade?" Alyssa greets as she sits down next to me.

Tori smiles. "Hi."

I frown. "Ugh."

Alyssa laughs and tangles her long arms around me for a bear hug. Which I make known that I have no intention in returning it. "Aww, Jadey! Always pleasant company."

"Shut up." I growled. The waiter politely took our orders (as politely as one could without drooling) and hurried back to the kitchen. "I heard you landed a role with Roy Burns new movie. Congrats."

Alyssa nodded enthusiastically. "I'm just excited to work for him. And this script is phenomenal! You have to read it. What about you? Anything new?" She exaggerated slyly, green eyes flickering towards Tori.

I feigned obliviousness and shrugged my shoulders, "Just finishing up a story for class. It's kicking my ass but I'm moving at an OK pace."

"She won't let me read it." Tori chirps.

"Jade doesn't let anyone read her unfinished work. She says its bad luck." Alyssa confirms.

"It is bad luck," I defend. "I change a lot of the chapters around and sometimes I even alter the characters. Besides, Aly is just butthurt that I never let her read any of my material."

"Why not?" Tori asks curiously, thanking the waiter as he places her Iced Tea on the table.

"The same reason I don't act in front of Jade." Aly replies softly. "It's sacred."

I circle my finger around my glass of water. "Do you ever let people hear you sing an incomplete song?"

Tori shakes her head.

"Then you understand. As artists," I motion at all three of us, "we think like a doctor, who, believes without organs a person cannot exist. Sure, they could have skin and bones, but they aren't alive without their hearts and stomachs and other organs. Certainly, no blood or pulse either. A scientist doesn't mix chemicals without the chemicals; if it's incomplete he certainly will not show his peers what he created since he created _nothing_." I finish.

"Something unfinished isn't beautiful. It doesn't feel right." Aly states. "Though, I believe broken and damaged pieces – people are worth admiring and are beautiful. For Jade, it's writers' block, for me it's in the execution on perceiving emotion and for you Tori, it's an unfinished melody." She pauses for a second and blinks dramatically. "Wow, we are fucking dorks."

I high five her with a laugh.

A phone rings and our laughter quiets to a soft chuckle. "Hello." Tori answers. "Andre!"

Who the fuck is Andre?

"Well, yeah… I'm sorry I forgot. I would've called you but—" Tori's face falls and I cross my arms. "I leave the day after Christmas," she winces at the response. "I have a lot going on right now. I'm having dinner right now and might I add, being completely rude by being on the phone with you." A slim finger shoots up and a small, apologetic smile graces her face before she walks away to continue her phone call.

Aly takes a sip of her coke and silently watches the retreating figure. "What the hell was that? Who's Andre?"

I grit my teeth. "I have no clue. He seems like an ass though."

"Amen to that. Dude, was ripping her a new asshole."

"Do you have to be so crude?"

"Fuck yeah I do." She raises her hand to signal the waiter, "Can I have a bottle of your strongest alcohol. With two cups please." She winks at the waiter who swoons and scurries quickly to the kitchen. "Man, I bought a fake ID for nothing. No one ever has the balls to check me."

"Maybe it's because you devour them with that intense 'do what I want and we are totally boning tonight' stare."

"True. Very, very true. Now, the waiter will be returning with your glass and mine, I better see your ass drink up."

I scoffed. "Why did you order me one?"

"Because you're going to need it. I have a hunch that your love interest is bringing a friend for the evening."

"You don't think…" I shut my mouth and smiled tightly when Tori came in with a hesitant smile.

Brown orbs were flicking between azure and green ones nervously. "I hope you guys don't mind, I invited my friend Andre to dinner. He's a few minutes away."

The waiter returns with a bottle of liquor and two glasses, when he reaches me I hold up the cup and say, "Fill it up to the brim."

Aly snickers next to me and gives him a sloppy salute. "Lord knows she fucking needs it!"

Andre is a moderately tall, mocha colored guy with a smug smile and a lazy stance. The moment he walked in, I disliked him. The minute he suffocated Tori in a hug and gave both Aly and I a flirtatious grin, I hated him. What really topped the evening off was when he opened his big, arrogant and narcissistic mouth to greet us.

"Hey, I'm Andre; Tori's best friend and Ex-Boyfriend."

Tori blushed and looked slightly ashamed at the outburst.

I gripped the table and smiled wearily.

Aly choked attractively into her glass and leaned back to clasp her hands over her toned stomach. "Well, shit."

Well, shit indeed.

* * *

**It's short because I love you guys. AND I have SAT's to study for AND basketball. So please, do not forget how to love me. Because I do not forget how to love you. I have a picture of all of you in my bra.**

**That was a lie.**

**I'm a filthy liar.**

**Also, my mistakes or misspellings are all me. Sorry, I cannot be perfect like others, I was dropped on my head several times… on a trampoline. **

**OK! Leave a review :D! **


	20. The Backfire Plan

**I wrote this chapter with a crack pipe up my nose. There's cocaine all over my bed, I don't even know how it got here. WHO LEFT THIS SHIT HERE? HMM. I'm trying to be a drug dealer but I lack the discipline and I lack the gang…. So….**

**I did the Harlem shake. I'm so sorry, don't hate me. DON'T HATE ME FOR SUCCUMING TO SOCIETY'S CRAZY TRENDS.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, Nickelodeon does. Evil!Andre gives me the willies. Willies sounds like a fatal STD and that made me laugh. Enjoy grammar errors and misspellings that I am sure I overlooked. Sorry :D**

* * *

I fucking hated surprises. In all honesty, I could live without another surprise for the rest of my life. Who the hell likes being surprised, I mean really, this shit isn't fun. Not knowing things and learning them in the span of three seconds is not enjoyable. I rather stick forks in my eyes while singing the alphabet backwards at least then I'll know what I'm getting out of it.

"I've stepped into a shitty romantic comedy," Aly mutters into her glass. "I had such high expectations for this evening," her head swivels towards my direction; "you have exceeded them."

"I don't need your input." I growled, ignoring the growing anger swirling in the pit of my stomach.

Aly sighed in bemusement. "I'm trying to be the comedic relief, awkward situations _call _for people like me."

She has a point.

I watched with keen dismay at the arrogant posture in Andre's form, his torso leaning into Tori with an air of familiarity and understanding. Tori on the other hand, had her hands clasped on her lap with a shaky smile; almost as if she were waiting to screw up or combust at any given moment. They were talking quietly amongst themselves and I gnawed on the bottom of my lip solemnly. A gentle brush of a soft palm interrupted my thoughts and I looked at mischievous green eyes.

"It's OK." Aly says quietly. "They aren't going to magically fall in love or anything so try to calm down the murderous glares and rumblings."

"You don't know—"

Her laugh cut me off. "Yes I do. She doesn't like him. She likes _you_. Probably doesn't realize it but that girl is waiting to eat you up. Literally."

I scoffed disbelieving. "Whatever."

A dark brown brow rose in challenge. A quirk of red lips had me nervous and I opened my mouth to ask her what the hell she was doing. "Just watch." She whispered knowingly. I relaxed as her body moved closer to mine, eyes smoldered expertly and a teasing flutter of fingertips moved up my arm. I composed my features and went along with it.

"Damn, Jade, I forgot how charming you were," Tori's eyes sharpened in our direction, narrowing when Aly whispers loudly in my ear. "I've missed you so much. We really should have kept in," she trails a lovingly hand down my cheek, "touch."

A resounding smack on the mahogany table has Aly and I struggle to keep the smug chuckles inside our throats. Tori is heaving noticeably and clutching the table with poorly disguised annoyance, "SO, Andre really wants to tell you more about himself." Tori half yells hysterically.

Andre looks confused.

Aly's wiggling in her seat.

I'm trying not to stare at how hot Tori looks when she's angry.

"Uhh, well I'm hoping to become a music producer. Make money and all that chiz." Andre intervenes loudly.

"You're main concern is making money? What about the love for actually making music?" I ask.

Andre blinks. "Well—"

Tori quirks her head to the side and the anger dissipates from her face as she stares at Andre. "Jade's right. There's more to the music than the money." Tori smiles over at me and I return it with my own grin.

Andre looks mildly annoyed before clearing his throat. "I have to make money if the music is good so it's basically the same thing." He defends.

"Sure it is." I reply innocently. Maybe I shouldn't be so harsh on the guy. His hand falls on Tori's shoulder and I square my shoulders. Or maybe I should. "Andre," his head whips in my direction with curiosity. "You like college?"

He shrugs his shoulders feigning indifference. "What's not to like? I'm doing alright in all my classes, I've got friends and I'm making some music."

"You hate school. When did you start enjoying it?" Tori butts in. A smile erupts on her face, fingers poking Andre lightly on the ribs. "Did Andre Harris finally grow up?"

He smiles and kisses her fingertip quickly. "Kind of. I've missed you a ton Tori, maybe I could come visit in a couple of weeks to see you in Cali'?"

"Yeah, totally." She answers unfazed. Her eyes find mine instantly and I know she's waiting for me to deny her or make Andre go fuck himself but I can't find the strength to let the words tumble out. I can't because I'm disappointed, disappointed that there was in fact, someone who she used to be with and who she still knows. And I guess it's possessive, the way I want her. And maybe I do need to relax because she has never been mine, I have no say in who she can be with.

I just want her to be with me.

My phone buzzes against my leg and I break eye contact with Tori to check it.

'_**Operation Andre is going down' is in motion –A**_

I looked over at Aly and choked on a laugh, "Dude, I know who you are I have caller ID, why add the A?"

Aly throws her hands up in the air exasperated, "I've been watching too much Pretty Little Liars, OK?! I thought it would spice things up if I signed my name. A little flair never hurts…" She mumbles.

"What the hell is, 'Operation Andre is going down' anyway?" I whisper.

That evil smile is back and I instantly regret bringing it up because bad things happen when she gets ideas. She glances over at Tori and Andre, the latter of which is trying to impress the other by making the Empire State building with sugar packets.

"We've got to act to react." Aly says simply.

I scratch the back of my neck with a frown. "What does that even mean?"

She rolls her eyes and places her fist under her chin. "I'll break it down for you since you have the IQ of a cracked walnut," _bitch, _"Tori only reacts when she's jealous right? Andre only falters when you point out his stupidity. So that means…." She prompts me to continue with her hands.

I clap my hands with a chuckle, "Which means that we have to make Tori jealous and get Andre to start talking then I swoop in and make him look like the world's biggest nub!"

She snaps her fingers proudly. "Bingo. Let's do this."

Surely enough, a few minutes of teasing touches between her and I and some raunchy comments on her part have Tori seething silently on the other side of the table. She admonishes Andre for not speaking and I practically squeal in excitement. But I won't because that is girly shit.

"I like twilight." Andre says. Trying to win our favor with sparkly vampires and werewolves with the personality of a dead goldfish. Why does every guy think we like that shit?

"You have no taste in literature," I retort before breaking out in a poetic rant that has me reciting Robert frost and e.e Cummings expertly.

Tori swoons. Aly gags playfully.

Andre grumbles under his breath while shooting me glares.

This continues for a good twenty minutes, our bantering growing more heated after every sentence. He's making himself look like a basic, narcissistic asshole and I'm gaining all the respect and heated stares from Tori. Andre notices and tries to veer of the topics but beautiful, unsuspecting Tori steers him right back. It's really too fucking easy.

"I have to go use the ladies room." Aly interrupts loudly as she stands up to brush some crumbs off her jeans. She gives me a noticeable wink and Tori abruptly stands up as well.

"I'll go with her." Tori quickly announces. Both Andre and I watch them go sadly.

"You had me fooled for a bit," Andre leans back into his chair with dark eyes. "Originally, I had you pegged for someone who was just naturally curious. Except, someone who really wants to get to know a stranger doesn't argue with them at first meeting. No, there's more to that and you know what I think?" He's waiting for my answer, a calculating frown evident in his otherwise calm features. "You want me to look bad. Why is that?"

I swirl the alcohol in my glass with a flick of the wrist. "I have no idea what you're talking about Andre. I'm just making conversation."

A harsh laugh leaves his chest, the air pushing out from his lungs with anger. "Cut the bullshit Jade. You like Tori."

I cover up the shock look in my face with an incredulous laugh, "Are you nuts? What are you even saying right now?" How the hell did he figure it out? I thought this kid was a fucking moron? Shit, I underestimated the bastard.

He's cutting his steak as he looks over at me; the cold smile on his face has me on the defensive. "You can't have her. She isn't _gay_," I ball my fists under the table at the venom in his tone. "She isn't disgusting like you, a dirty lesbian who goes against the bible and God's word." He scoffs. "We dated for two years and I broke up with _her_, I could have her any time I please. I never got to sleep with her, I kind of regret it but that's farther than you'll ever get."

My heart is thrumming violently in my chest and I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from crossing the table and beating him. He's wrong, he is so fucking wrong. God can't hate whom he makes.

"I've had her in the way you will never have her. How does that feel Jade? How does it feel to not have a chance?" He hisses sharply.

"Fuck you! She is not something you can claim Harris. She can learn to love me; she doesn't need some pathetic, piece of shit like you in her life."

A sinister smile replaces the grim line on his jaw. "You and I know who she would benefit more from."

I drop my head at the confidence in his tone. I grit my teeth and swallow my hurt to glare into his eyes.

"You can't be what she needs. She wants the kids, you lack the anatomy for that, she wants the image, you don't fit the family portrait and lastly, she needs the ideal companion if her music career ever takes off. I can give her all that and more. You'll ruin her." Andre finishes with a firm drum on the table. We both know he's right, I can't insure the happy ending and it _kills _me. But I love her and that has to count more than this sadistic bastard's claim. I can try.

"I can make her happy…" I mumble defeated.

Andre joins his hands together, "Maybe, but for how long?"

I choke on the word, "Forever."

* * *

**The chapter is over, review or go suck some—**

"**You are such an asshole!"**

**Well, damn bitch, fuck you too. *Somersaults into a pool of gold chains and grills.***


	21. Aly's Advice on Grenades

"**I want to see what you look like." **

**Poof! Wish granted. That is me in the profile pic, may all your pants be dropped at the sexiness that is I. Please refrain from vomiting on your screen if you find me atrocious, thank you!**

"**I wanted nudes!"**

**I wanted a sex scene between fictional characters, did I get that? No. Shut up and enjoy my face.**

**All of us have taken a shot before reading this Chapter right? It's officially 21, which means it's allowed to get drunk; so you are now allowed to get word wasted or Jori wasted.**

"**Your fucking logic sucks."**

**WOW, well your fucking face sucks. K.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, Nickelodeon does. I wanted to sleep but theres construction outside my house, so I'm upstairs with a binocular trying to find the fucker who decided to renovate before noon. Planning murder as we speak.**

* * *

"Jade," Aly is snapping her thin fingers in my face with a frown, right hand positioned on her hip and eyebrows drawn over her eyes in confusion. She looks over at a smug Andre as I swallow the rest of my whiskey with a grimace. She puts two and two together quite quickly. "Shit. Alright, don't worry Jadey, I can take care of this."

I'm feeling the familiar burn hover over my cheeks and I lick my lips clumsily, there's a throb in my head I don't want to pay attention to as I flicker my eyes away from questioning brown ones. If humans were so efficient in heartbreak then maybe there wouldn't be so much alcohol. I sighed.

"Well, Tori, it was nice getting to know you." Aly nods in the direction of Andre with a forced smile. "Same goes for you chocolate thunder but I need to show Jade some things at my apartment, I'll drop her off late at the hotel!"

Tori stands from her chair, "wait! Tomorrow's Christmas eve, she needs to get some sleep."

"Dude, she's old enough to take care of herself. I'll bring her back in tip top shape, yah won't even recognize her." Aly drawled with a charming smile.

"T-sh-Tip Top!" I slurred clumsily, waving my glass with a crooked smile.

Aly waves her arm in my direction and grabs my wallet, signaling the waiter. "See? She's golden!"

"She's drunk." Tori deadpanned.

"Even better!"

"Look, I don't know what your intentions are with Jade but I'm not letting her leave with you while she's tipsy or drunk –under the influence of alcohol! She's going back to the hotel with me."

Irrational anger flooded my vision and I tore myself away from my chair, pointing my finger accusingly at Tori as I did so. "If I want to go hang with Aly I can, you aren't my keeper!" I harshly declared with a sneer. "I'll see you in the morning."

Tori cowered with a hurt frown, burying her head in her chest. A sharp pain erupted in my chest at her expression; I fought the urge to claw at my heart. Aly shook her head with disappointment but I just focused on the sly grin Andre was sporting behind his glass cup of water.

"Let's get out of here." I gritted out when the waiter handed me back my credit card. I shrugged on my coat and followed behind Aly. Balling my fists in my pockets when I heard Andre suggest to Tori to head over to his place to 'properly catch up.'

The air was a crisp caress on the bare tips of my fingers, I looked up at the skyscrapers and the moon; spinning as I did so. My breath was a ghost in the night sky and I thought of how pathetic it looked, so shallow and scattered like my body was responding to the ache in my heart.

"I've always wanted to be a ghost." I muttered while Aly called a cab.

"Sure thing Casper, let's get in the car without the Ghostbusters making an appearance." There was that small slip of Hispanic accent when she sounded her Rs.

I nodded. "Ok Cuban princess."

We shuffled into the cab after a few shoves and I toppled over to the window seat with a laugh. I leaned my head on the cool glass and made funny (inappropriate) figures as it fogged over. Suddenly a thought occurred to me and I flung my arm around Aly's shoulders. "Where are we going?" I sniffled dryly.

She grinned. "The best place to talk and bitch, my hazy friend."

"Coffee shop?"

"Coffee shop in the middle of a library." She correct.

"I looooooove you."

"Just don't puke on me and consider us even."

"I'm not that drunk, and I never throw up. I have an iron stomach." I scrunched up my lips. "Talking about throwing up makes me want to vomit though."

"Uggh."

Our cab pulled up to a library, that, I had to say was sculptured to resemble one from the renaissance era. It looked out of place in the city of skyscrapers but then I noticed a hot dog stand next to it and I pushed the thought aside. My feet lazily carried me up the marble steps, nails scraping the rail while I ascended. And its times like these, your brain foggy and your mouth dry when you become aware of trivial things like who built this library, who carved the stairs and why would anyone want a kingdom of books?

You can't have those answers with Google.

Before I know it, were in front of the Coffee cashier and Aly is giving our order quietly while I scan the books stacked around us. A hot coffee met my hand and I was guided to a wobbly wooden table at the far side of the shop.

The coffee was doing wonders fighting the effects of alcohol. I sobered up fairly quickly. Thank god for that.

"What did he say to you?"

I thrummed my fingers on the wood. "Does it matter?"

Her laugh echoed the empty shop and the clerk behind the desk looked up at us warily. "I don't know Jade, does it?! You're here wallowing in a state of depression so blatantly caused by something he said. So it mattered to you."

"He said what a million people couldn't say! She isn't a lesbian, she will never love me! And if she will ever love me I still can't give her what she needs!" I argued hysterically.

"Why do you categorize yourself like that? Do you feel the need to label yourself in order to find your significant other? It's not about being a lesbian; it's about loving someone! Two people in love. That's it! You're making decisions for Tori based on what Andre said; she is capable of loving a woman just as much as you are. What can't you give her that Andre can? You can have everything he is able to give her, just in a different way. Granted, it may be harder but life isn't easy either way so might as well make the best of it."

"And if I can't give her forever?" I ask slowly. My lips form the sentence like a sin or a promise, I can't tell the difference.

"Then give her today and tomorrow. There's nothing wrong with that."

"God, I… fuck."

"You were wrong to snap at Tori," Aly declares with a stern look.

I look at my Styrofoam cup blinking heavily, regretfully. "I- I know and now…"

"Now she's with him." She finishes. "Why?"

Why? Because I am fed up with feelings and caring and _loving_. I am done with trying – attempting put my heart on the line for this, for her. Because this is what love is, a sickness. And the antidote is the same person who causes the infection.

"I don't know."

"You can only feel bitter for so long."

I glare at her, "don't compare her to what happened with Cat."

"Oh, and you aren't doing that on your own? Get over yourself."

I dropped my weight on the table as I leaned in threateningly. "Shut the fuck up."

Aly shook her head stubbornly. "No, you need to hear this! You need to stop the pity party, enough with the bullshit analysis on love because you had_ one_ bad relationship. You're going to give up before you even try, really? Don't be so stupid, the world doesn't revolve on sunshine and unicorns, it isn't going to vomit rainbows and rain sugar. You set your own happiness, regardless of who had crushed it before. It's OK to be selfish. Priority number one: you."

"Andre said—"

Her hand rose abruptly. "Who cares what Andre said? Has he done anything significant to make him an expert on life – on Tori? He dated her, ok, I'll give him that. I've dated a ton of people and I can't remember half of the people they were. You have to love someone to know someone, people think dating implies love, it doesn't. You can date someone for years and not know them past their breakfast order and shoe size!"

"I know you're scared, I know hesitance when I see it. You handle Tori like a grenade and you're scared to pull the pin but keeping it in your pocket isn't any safer. Jade, you aren't collateral damage."

I rubbed my hands on my face with a shaky breath; I was so tired, so lost and I know what I want – who I want but…

"Is it really worth it? Is she really worth it?"

I look up and smile sadly, "Yes. She is."

Aly smiled that infuriating arrogant stretch of the lips, she crossed her legs and leaned back. "See! Simple."

"All I have to do now is…"

"Fight for the girl! Charm the shit out of her? Create sexual tension till her underwear spontaneously combusts?"

"Uhh, yes?"

"Great, I can't wait. You've made my day Jade, this drama was just the entertainment I needed. Now, I need your help."

"With what?" I took a sip of my coffee cautiously.

She looked nervous and I squirmed in my seat curiously. "IWantToKindaGetBackWithBeck." She blurted out hastily.

I choked on the burning liquid and patted my chest with my fist. "Are you insane?! You cheated on him! How the hell am I supposed to help you out with that?!"

"You're his best friend!" Aly exclaimed.

"And?!"

"I really like him Jade, I had this whole scenario planned out in my head where I admit my faults and mistakes and he wraps me in his arms-""Ew." "- and we end up together!"

I blinked in disbelief. "You watch too many movies Aly. I'm thinking a spontaneous encounter in California could work in your favor though."

"How so?"

"He may or may not still have a massive devotion to you. You really fucked up but if you work on it then maybe…"

"Say no more Jade, all I needed was a maybe. I got this."

I finished my coffee and stood up from the table. "I'm tired and still tipsy."

"Let's get you to the hotel lightweight."

I flicked her off with a smirk.

…..

"Jade?"

I exited the bathroom and fell on Tori's bed with a huff. "I'm sorry for snapping at you at the resturaunt earlier."

Tori offered me a small smile. "No, it's my fault, I—"

"No, it wasn't. Tori, I was frustrated but I had no right to take it out on you. You were looking out for me and it was in the best of intentions; I'm sorry that I'm an asshole and I can't promise that I won't snap at you again or fight or do something recklessly stupid but I can promise that every time I'll come back to you with an apology."

Her thin arms rose in a silent question, I answered with my own pulling her close to me.

"Andre wanted me to go over his place but I couldn't, I was so worried that you and Aly would…"

I wrinkled my nose playfully. "Me and her? Nah, she's like an annoying older sister." I brushed a hair behind her ear. "You could've gone to Andre's, I wouldn't have blamed you."

Tori shook her head. "I couldn't stop thinking about you," I bit the inside of my cheek in surprise. "I hoped you'd come back and you did and I wanted to be here. For you."

I kissed the top of her head. "Thank you."

She kissed my jawline. "You're welcome."

The last thing I remembered before drifting off was Aly's soft voice. _"You handle Tori like a grenade and you're scared to pull the pin but keeping it in your pocket isn't any safer." _

I get it now.

* * *

"**ARE DEY KISEN SOON?"**

**How the hell should I know? It's not like I write these things!**

**Leave a review. Hate on my face. Love you.**


	22. Christmas Eve with the Vega Family

**I don't do this often but I really feel that this story deserves some recognition (the writing is better than mine tenfold) and I'd love for you guys to check it out. And by love, I mean if you don't check it out you won't be getting any nudes. Slut.**

**[Tearing Down The Walls by NeniioN.] Great fucking story, I'm sure you guys will loooove it as much as I do. **

**So, I had decided to try that website Omegle because a friend of mine told me I could find people with my interests, naturally I put JORI and Faberry (RP'd for practice and spoke to some cool people about prompts I had in mind) and a couple of other things (drugs, alcohol, basketball, gangs). Here's a quick shoutout to the people I met, it was fantastic talking to you guys and if you're reading this know that I am giving you kissies. Not kisses, Kissies, which happen to be awesome. **

**Disclaimer: I do not Own Victorious, Nickelodeon does. If you guys ever want to RP or have some hot cybersex, lemme know. That was joke, I'm terrible at cybersex. NOT THAT I'VE TRIED IT.**

* * *

My Christmas Eve had always consisted of a cup of coffee, a great book, some time with Beck's family and a hefty money deposit from my Father. I was content with it. It's not like I had anything to compare it to.

Boy was I wrong to say that Christmas Eve was like any other day.

Christmas Eve was no joke in the Vega Household. Tori insisted (forced) that I go to her house to spend the night and therefore, have my Christmas experience with her family. After a long winded speech about intruding and how I'd rather her spend time with her recovering Father – without me, I was dragged to their house outside of Manhattan and treated like an honorary Vega. Apparently, people have traditions on Christmas Eve, like watching 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' and baking cookies that no one will ever eat and telling weird stories by the fireplace as each family member shrieks in embarrassment.

At first I had felt out of place, I didn't know what the hell I was supposed to do. Holly, bless her heart, had cooed and aww'd at my inability to understand what families did on days like this. She shoved me around the house, stuffed me with ridiculous amounts of food and made me participate in every event they conjured up. She refused to let me sit on the sidelines which I would have contentedly done.

"Wait, I'm supposed to leave the cookies on the table?"

"Yup."

"But I want one…"

"Jade, it's for Santa."

"But Santa isn't real!"

"Shut up!"

"Oww, you didn't have to hit me with the plate!"

I never experienced any holiday to this extent, never had people who actually cared to share a celebration with me. There was New Years and my Birthday but that always led to drinking, throwing away some money and a couple of bar fights between strangers and I. This was a whole other ball game and I loved it. Well most of the time.

"Woah, Trina, what was that for?!"

"What the heck Trina?!"

"She was standing under mistletoe Tori, it had to be done."

"And you thought I'd be okay with you kissing me?!"

"Well… you're gay, so yeah."

"Trina!"

"She has a point, Tori. I am gay."

"If anyone kisses Jade one more time, I'll throw away the eggnog!"

"Mmph!"

"TRINA!"

"I hate eggnog. And Jade happens to be a great kisser."

But what really made the day great was watching Tori interact with her family, those reserved smiles she'd use were gone, replaced with wide grins and open mouth laughs. I couldn't really pinpoint it but there was a slight change in her character, nothing too noticeable but it was there; lingering in those special smiles and happy laughs. She was carefree, more relaxed and it was obvious that she loves her family; she'd make a great mom.

The realization made my heart warm.

"Alright, time for bed. At least for us old folk." David commented dryly, earning a pinch on the arm as he did so. Holly rolled her eyes and gave me a sly smirk. "Don't stay up to long. We rise at dawn!" I cracked a smile at that.

They shuffle upstairs with a couple of laughs and a few pointed stares at Trina who is busy tapping rapidly on her phone. The snowman clock makes a soft click, signaling that it's ten o'clock; I reach up and wipe at my tired eyes. I lean my head on the couch, closing my eyes momentarily.

"Tired?" Tori asks while she watches Trina run upstairs with her head glued to her phone.

"Just a bit," I slur unconvincingly, "your family has worn me out. I'm not really used to all this-"I pause in search for the right word. "Mush."

"Mush?"

I nod my head. "Yeah, your family is mush. Squishy and easy to be around. I've never had that." Tori stares at me, not with pity or a fake look of understanding. She just looked.

"Hmm, is that a good thing?"

"I think so," I narrowed my eyes lazily at her goofy grin, "don't look so smug, I don't have much to compare it to." The slap on my thigh is well deserved. I breathe in through my nose; the smell of gingerbread cookies and pine trees giving out that distinct scent of holidays. "Thanks, for everything." I mumble out.

Tori looks surprised and shy when she tucks her head into her arm, shooting me side glances occasionally. I watch the Grinch's heart grow three times bigger, I wonder if that ever happens to people. It certainly feels like Tori is infecting me with that disease. I snort.

Tori breaks the silence. "What's going through that head of yours?"

"This movie is dumb."

Tori's jaw drops, her eyes going wide with disbelief. "This movie is a heartwarming movie for everyone to enjoy!"

"You sound like the back of the DVD set." I scoff when I pick up the DVD set on the table. "What do you know, it says that on the back.

"Whatever, it's still an awesome movie. No matter how old you get."

"Nah, it blows. This movie is Jank."

"It is not!"

"It is too!"

"What?! How?"

The corners of my lips twitch at her outburst and I have to struggle not to smile at her frown. "The Grinch wouldn't change over some dumb little girl in the span of one night. Christmas is supposed to be about giving; I only see the Grinch taking. If anything, he should've gotten meaner."

"Are we watching the same movie?!" Tori fumes. "He changes because that little girl shows him the meaning of Christmas, he takes but he gives it back _eventually_. He's willing to go through a whole other perspective for her because she didn't give up on him, she wanted to know the good within him; despite all the bad he showed. And you know why she did that?"

I shook my head, curiously wanting to know where she was getting at.

"Because you have to fight for the things you love. She loved Christmas; she loved the happiness and selfishness it spread. So she was going to fight past the mean front The Grinch was showing; in an attempt to find out why he didn't love the _good_. Hatred is a form of love; you have to love in order to have the capability to hate." Tori finishes with a pointed glare. I held my eyes up in surrender but her glare didn't soften a bit. "The Grinch was never evil or bad or whatever the hell you want to call it because it was in his nature to be. Something caused him to be like that. He was bitter. And that girl gave him a cause to fight for again."

Her words struck true but more importantly, they struck me. Almost as if she was trying to get more than a point across, it sounded like an accusation. "Are you insinuating something Tori," I leaned in, an undertone of anger lacing my voice. "You've got anything to say?" I growled out.

Tori's bottom lip juts out stubbornly, "And if I do?"

I licked my lips as my fingers curled the couch cushions. "Then say it." A pensive look crossed her face. She was thinking, weighing out the pros and cons inwardly. I held my breath.

"I—"

"Tori! Is there anymore cookies left?!" Trina stomps down the stairs yelling.

"No, those are for Santa!" Tori shouts back, eyes trained on mine.

Trina whines, "But," she draws out, "I want one! Santa's not even real!"

Trina doesn't have time to move out of the way when a plate goes flying at her.

...

Tori's room was tense, both of us tossing and turning every minute. After Trina's interruption, Tori had grumbled something about going to sleep and I had opted for the couch. Unsurprisingly, Tori refused to let me sleep there. We took turns going to the bathroom to change and brush our teeth, when it was Tori's turn I had tried really hard to fall asleep but her words kept playing on repeat. It made me angry for a reason beyond my understanding and it felt suffocating to think about it.

So here we were, the two of us pretending to be asleep. Tori on the bed while I lay on the floor next to her— I had refused to share the mattress with her. Whether we were mad at each other or mad at the words that were left unsaid was undecided between us. I didn't like tension; I didn't like how it sat on your chest and refused to let you think about anything else. I slapped my palm on my forehead, groaning while I did so.

"Ugh, this is stupid Tori! We were fine just an hour ago." I whispered harshly.

Tori grunted angrily, "and what? Are you implying that it was me who caused this?"

"No sh—"

"Language!"

"No duh it was you. We were just watching some cartoon and you had to go and ruin it?" I shot back.

"How did I ruin it?! I was explaining the movie, you were the cynical butt."

"The word you are looking for is _bitch_, say it with me B-I-T-C-H, Bitch."

A pillow hit me in the face and I sat up in bemusement. "I do not condone curse words Jade West." I cocked my head to the side and watched her cross her arms over her chest, facing the ceiling with a grimace. I fell back on the sleeping bag with a huff. "You're such a child Tori."

"And you are insufferable."

I chuckled under my breath at the ridiculousness of our behavior. The digital clock showed the time and I smiled, "Merry Christmas Tori." A sharp intake of breath was heard over the bed, I didn't bother to hide my grin.

"Merry Christmas Jade."

* * *

**You guys are going to shit yourselves next chapter. Here's a sneak peak.**

"**Jade," Tori calls out suddenly, her eyes wide and black with desire, "y-your dick is huge."**

"**Thanks. It works out." I answered as my dick lifted the barbell gracefully.**

**WHY DO THEY LET ME WRITE FANFICTION?!**

**P.S that was a joke...**


	23. Because it's Christmas

**Before you all murder me, berate me, send disgruntled old folks to my house, know this! I love you guys. **

***Whole world simultaneously 'Aww's'***

**Basketball tournaments and all the chizz have kept me quite busy; also, sloth gifs have kept me busy too. Have you guys seen some of those sloth gifs? **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, Nickelodeon does. Listening to 'Move Bitch Get Out The Way' on the turnpike doesn't make you a lot of friends. No, no it doesn't folks….**

* * *

"Nice clothes, very festive." Tori whistled out, a sly grin plastered to her face as I looked down at my red reindeer sweater and reindeer horns placed firmly on my head.

I rolled my eyes and flicked her off. I looked fucking great in tacky Christmas clothes. "Uhm, excuse me but I'm Santa's reindeer. What the heck are you supposed to be? Santa's bitch?" Tori gasped and brought her tan hand to rest on the green, woven sweater.

"I am Santa's elf!" She exaggerated, pointing at the sharp ears on her head and green hat.

I shrugged my shoulder and stuffed my hands in my pocket. "What's the difference?"

With an exasperated grumble and a few minutes of waving her hands around, Tori stomped downstairs and motioned me to follow her. The kitchen was decorated with a dark red and homey oranges, the wooden counters were spotless and filled with various Christmas ornaments. Holly was bustling around with an apron wrapped around her body and a hand on the metal pan, flipping pancakes and checking around the recipe book for what I assumed would be dinner. I walked over to the frazzled woman and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, she turned with a light frown and I smiled, "how about I finish the pancakes and you relax?" Holly planted a kiss on my cheek while I blushed and busied myself with fixing the temperatures.

"You can cook?" Tori asked as she hopped on the counter and swung her legs next to me, occasionally poking me on the ribs with her toes.

"I was home alone a lot so when I got bored I taught myself how to cook meals," I answered quietly, remembering the countless hours I spent experimenting and watching the Food Network while I mimicked the moves and steps. "Once I got pretty good at it, I decided to take some real cooking lessons and loved it. I learned the right way to handle pans, how to chop vegetable and how to make some meals that'll make any girl swoon." I said as I flicked my wrist skillfully and tossed the pancake in the air, catching it with a smug wink.

I feel a movement ruffle my head and turn to see Tori fingering the colorful bells on my horns with a small grimace. I toss some chocolate chips into the batter and let it sit before stepping closer to the brunette, "what's wrong?" She bites her lip and tucks her arms back, looking down at the floor with a pensive expression.

"You didn't see your parents all the much…." She whispers, her head tilting up as she hesitantly brushes a dark strand of hair away from my face. "And yet, you're such an amazing person all on your own. You deserve far better than what fate has dealt you." I feel my features morph into something pitiful and I bite back a sigh, shaking my head and turning my attention back to the food.

"People expect me to be a sad person," I break the tense silence after a few minutes, "but I'm not. I had nothing to miss because what I had- what I lived by- wasn't worth missing. My mother chose her happiness and my father buried himself in work with his sadness, sadly I was caught in the middle of that." I flip the stove off and stack the pancakes on a plate and take pieces of bread out of the oven before slapping my hands together. "I can't change my pass Tori, but the future looks pretty damn good from where I'm at."

Tori hops off the counter and before I can open my mouth, she hugs me tight to her and I inhale sharply, the smell of Vanilla and Sunshine coaxing me into the tight embrace. Tori and I, we don't fit, this isn't some puzzle that's _finally _been completed or two halves meeting, no, this is more than that. Complicated. We clash in the most obvious of ways; our personalities are as different as the people who wear them, both hearts in total disarray as we try to figure out what the hell is happening between us.

"Hurry up and bring out the breakfast so we can open my presents!" Trina yells while we break apart with deep blushes on our faces. Trina rushes in the kitchen, Santa hat crooked and white sweater haphazardly twisted on her frame as she gives me a once over and laughs. "Can Santa ride that Reindeer?" She jokes with a wicked grin, wiggling her eyebrows as she makes an exaggerated riding motion.

"Trina! That is so inappropriate!"

"You can ride this Reindeer anytime you like Trina."

A plate meets my head and I scowl, "enough with the plates woman! You are so damn abusive! No pancakes for you."

Tori sticks her tongue out at me and helps carry the plates of food to her dining room table. Holly is caressing a sleepy David and for once, the sight of romance doesn't sicken me. I set the food down and sit silently in the chair next to Holly, Tori settling down next to me as I do so. I squirmed in my seat and hoped I didn't look as uncomfortable as I felt but a reassuring hand from Holly eased my discomfort and I eventually relaxed.

"I know you guys are excited for the presents but, I mean, check out these pancakes." David laughed, eyeing the pancakes like they were his lord and savior. A warm hand found mine and I looked to the left of me to see Tori intertwining our fingers and smiling softly as she cocked her head to the side, motioning for me to grab Holly's as they said their graces.

"I'd like Jade to start this year," Holly prompted with a wink and a grin. "Tell us what you're thankful for."

What am I thankful for? I glance around the table, peering at each person as their heads are bowed patiently and I wish that I could've found them earlier, be a part of this weird and extremely dorky family instead of the one I grew up with.

"I'm thankful for you guys," they all popped up their heads in surprise, "you have all shown me in a matter of days what it is to truly care for one another. All of you are selfless, kind, and loving in your own respective ways. I'm thankful for being granted a spot in this table amongst you all and having the ability to say that I had the best Christmas here with all of you. I'm thankful that David is healthy and recovering, thankful for Holly being one of the strongest people I've ever met; for Trina who despite all the heartache and worry stayed calm and collected." I squeezed Tori's hand in mine, "and I'm thankful for meeting Tori who showed me there is still so much good in the world and who is by far the best thing that's happened to me in a long time." I finished softly; watching as the Vega's each wiped their tears and swallowed their gentle sobs. Holly went next, David soon after and Trina last. Tori couldn't do it because her voice was too raw but she silently stood up and walked to the bathroom to wash her face.

"You're a good person Jade." David commented at the end of the table, his brown eyes warming into my azure ones.

I nod and glance at my pancakes, "I wasn't always but, I'm trying and that has to count for something." Holly rubbed my sweater clad arm and poured an exaggerated amount of powdered sugar on my plate. "Oh, honey, it does. It really does. And Tori, I haven't seen her happy in a while." She explained cautiously, looking at the bathroom door. "She acts like we don't notice but, the transfer of colleges took a lot out of her."

I faltered in my movements, fork hanging midair. "Why did she transfer? She never really explained to me and Beck never really gave me much of an explanation."

Trina spoke next. "We aren't to sure either, It just happened from one day to another. She seemed off for quite a bit," she looked around the table with a contorted frown. "Did we really not care enough to try and speak to her about it?" Her tone was shameful, coated with thick dismay and uneasiness while her eyes flickered to the hallway.

"No," I disagreed. "Tori has her own things going on and you can't blame yourselves for not being on top of her every second of the day. Whatever it is, whatever happened is in the past and she's happy now, right? Why dwell on it?"

Holly nods and David grunts his agreements with a mouthful of food. Tori steps out and we all straighten noticeably, smiling widely at her as she takes her place next to me.

"Let's ea- Dad you already started?!"

"Tori, really, try Jadey's pancakes. They are fantastic."

"Did he just call me Jadey?"

"Yup."

…

"And I really hope you like it because I checked with the spa and it has all these awesome," my mouth is muffled by two pairs of arms, one of them crying and the other chuckling deeply. I slowly wrap my own arms around them and pat their backs awkwardly; still not all that good with affectionate gestures and whatnot.

"Thanks Jade!" Two voices sound in my ear; I gently push Holly and David off of me, fixing my ears with a crimson blush staining my cheeks. "Yeah, yeah."

Trina is stomping around in the new boots I got her, squealing with every step she takes and I have to bite hard on the insides of my cheek in order not to laugh at the weirdo. Trina practically skips outside to blabber and brag on the phone while Holly and David excitedly run upstairs to do... Whatever they do upstairs.

A box is promptly shoved in my hands, Tori is smiling shyly, her eyes crinkling worriedly as they flicker around my face for a reaction. "Open it."

I nod. "Okay." My fingers remove the tape gently, fingering the nicely wrapped paper carefully but I don't let my eyes wander from Tori's who's watching me with a pensive expression as if I would suddenly deny her present and throw it out the open. I drag my focus down to the now unwrapped present, heaving a surprised breath of amazement. There's a plain brown, leather bond notebook with golden linings and intricate details surrounding the bindings. A fountain pen lies beneath the book, it's casing is oddly the same color of my eyes but what really catches my attention is what's written on it.

_Your words are far too magnificent to waste._

There's a sense of clarity, the moment I register the words and it leads me to believe that I have far more words to waste then I had before. _I love you_ is one of them; waiting on the tip of my tongue where it lies with impatiently to be rolled off and into the air and for a second, Tori looks like she's waiting for a declaration of love that I can't let out. It seems so perfect, no faults or flaws digging into my ribs tauntingly or clouding my mind.

But I'm not ready.

"Thank you. You have no idea how much…. I love it." I whisper quietly, focus still glued to my present and I have to clear my throat before reaching behind me and handing the present I got for her. "Open it," I mimic.

A sob echoes into my ears, Tori is staring at the envelope with a hand clamped over her mouth and droplets of tears descending down her face. "I wasn't sure what to get you at first. I had a million ideas but they all seemed so generic," I scratched the back of my head in memory, leaning over to wipe Tori's tears. "I knew you wouldn't accept anything extravagant or flashy, so I really had to think hard. I came to realize that the best present I could give you was something that would mean a chance to make you happy for a lifetime. And I was able to do that, I wanted to give you that opportunity."

The Vega's come downstairs with mixed expressions all eyes on Tori who is crying freely now, "what happened Tori?" David asks curiously and confusedly, Holly behind him with the same questions written across her face.

I look over to them with a sheepish half-frown, "I think my gift broke her."

"What did you get her?" Trina interrupts with raised eyebrows.

Tori clears her throat and giggles brokenly, "she got me a recording contract."

* * *

**Don't get impatient with me, what you guys are all waiting for is coming next chapter. Maybe. **

**Or maybe not. **

**Leave a review and I'll love you. Booboo. Poopoo. Enough with that, go away. **


	24. Taste like Snowballs

**Girlfriends and Boyfriends, I am sure that you all have missed me. How could you not? Today is a good day because I (your Queen and humble but not really, ruler) has decreed it to be so. **

"**Who the fuck said you could update this slow?" Well… I- "Listen, right, fucking now. You better have a good reason to keep us waiting." I- "WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ALY. UPDATE FASTER OR DIE." O-o-ok… S-s-sorry gu-guys.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, Nickelodeon does. But now that it is no longer running, I do own it. It is no longer called Victorious, instead I have changed the name to 'Two hot chicks in denial over their feelings are pitted against one another in a series of episodes while they pretend not to be gay'.**

* * *

"I can't accept this." Tori whispers. She cradles the contract to her chest as if the paper held more worth than she did and I can't help but frown at the notion.

"Yes you can. You will." I state with a firm nod. A door shuts somewhere in the house and I don't have to look to know that Trina and Mr. and Mrs. Vega have disappeared to give us some privacy. Feeling a little stupid and self-conscious, I rock on my heels while I run my hand through my hair. Had it been a mistake to give her a present of this degree?

Tori tugs at my sweater, motioning for me to sit down in front of her and I do so apprehensively. "This is… amazing." She breathes, my heart warms but I stay silent. "No one has ever gone out of their way to this degree for me. It's more than just a recording contract Jade. It's like you've handed me my dream on a sheet of paper and asked nothing of me in return." I was met straight on with brown eyes, the deep pools of chocolate not doing anything to ease the beat in my chest. "What do you want from me?"

"Huh?" I'm as intelligent as they come.

"What. Do. You. Want. From. Me?" She says slowly, crinkles forming on the paper due to her fingers digging into the sheet. "Am I just another conquest for you?" Her voice drops lower to a timid pitch.

I'm floored by her question, eyes darting across her features in desperation to find some sort of clue. Was this a sick joke? Did she really expect me to do this all to get into her pants? Maybe I would have a month earlier when I was still clinging to a certain redhead. But, she had changed me in such a short time, helped me see things as they were, not what they could be.

I clear my throat. "No. Do you really think that I would do such a thing?" A bitter laugh escapes my throat, fuck, how could I make her believe me? She had every reason to question my motives. "I did it because you're my friend." I catch her wince. "If you think you're just another _fuck_-"

"I didn't say that!"

"You implied it Tori!"

Her bravado falters, shoulders sagging. "I'm sorry."

Not able to handle the tension any longer, I get to my feet and stuff my hands in the pocket of my jeans. "Me too." I stalk towards the door and pull it open, a hand catching my wrist and pulling me back. "Where are you going?"

I gently remove myself from her hold, breathing in the cold air from the crack of the door. "I need some air. I'll be back soon." Without waiting for her answer I rush outside and listen to the familiar crunch underneath my feet from the newly fallen snow. A white Christmas I mocked bitterly. Deciding to get my shit together, I shiver and pull out my phone.

Three rings and a groan is heard on the other line. "_Hello?"_

I smile despite my current mood. "Hey, Beck."

"_Jade! How's New York? Did you give my aunt and uncle my love?"_

"No. I told them that you secretly hate them and that's why you aren't here right now."

"_Jade!" _

I roll my eyes. "Don't be a dumbass Oliver. Why you choose to believe that I would say such a thing is completely beyond me. They send their greetings and love." I coo into the line and make some smooch noises.

"_Remind me again why you're my best friend?"_

"Because I'm more entertaining than Robbie and sexier than all those sweaty, band mates you hang with."

"_Too bad I'm not your type."_

"Well, yeah. You lack the pus-"

"_Yes, I know Jade! Any reason you're calling me aside from your normal harassment? Did something happen? Shit, did you burn their Christmas tree?"_

I frowned and rubbed my forehead. "First of all, that was one time and you shouldn't have left me alone with the freakin' plant. Second of all, I do not harass. I badger. There's a difference. And lastly, I needed someone to talk to. Is that such a bad thing?"

A gentle sigh broke through the momentary silence. _"No, it's not. Is everything okay?"_

"Is anything ever 'okay' with me?" I grumbled. No because I'm the queen of failed romance and immense hesitance. "It's Tori."

"_Did Tori not like the present? I thought for sure she would, I mean, it's a pretty big deal to get a recording contract. From West Music Enterprise nevertheless! Maybe she felt like she didn't earn it for herself? It could be a pride thing." _

I nodded even though he couldn't see me. It made sense but her outburst was an odd and unexpected blow. "That could be it. But my father was genuinely impressed with her singing and you know how he is, it's easier to impress the fucking Emperor of China."

"_Talk to her then."_

"There's more Beck, she asked me and I quote, 'What do you want from me?' seriously? I am so fucking upset and…" Calming myself slightly, I bite my thumb to ease the bundle of frayed nerves in my head. "What the hell am I supposed to say to that? She said that I was just pursuing another conquest."

A beat of silence later had me on edge. Beck was nothing if not honest, the boy hated lying more than anything in the world. Where I was brutally honest, he was gentle and truthful. That scared me the most because he could easily say something that would have me second guessing myself. _"She's scared Jade. You can't honestly think that Tori isn't going to question everything you do that's even slightly intimate. Can you blame her?"_

I chewed on my lip and planted my ass on the cold snow, to preoccupied to really care. "No, I don't. I wish there was a way she could understand that I really, really like her. I've never gone to such lengths for someone." My head fell on my open palm. "I feel incredibly stupid. Why do I always have to screw things up?"

"_Stop whining."_

"I'm not w-"

Beck huffed on the phone_, "yes. You are. Why are you even overthinking this? Can't you just tell her you like her and go on a date? What's so hard about that?"_

"For one, I don't know if she even remotely likes me." I pointed out gruffly. "Two, I doubt that Tori Vega would even want to like me."

"_Why wouldn't she like you?" _Beck asked neutrally. I could hear the smile playing across his lips.

"Because I'm me! I sleep around. I get drunk and do stupid shit that usually ends with me shitfaced _again_! I'm irresponsible, hot-headed, dangerous and a major bitch. Tori is nice. Soft like marshmallows and bright like the sun and oh my God am I seriously saying all of this right now?" Wow, I had it really bad for a certain brunette.

"_You're not a bad person because you do bad things, you're a good person because you know what you're doing is bad. Do you understand?" _

What? "Huh?"

Beck scoffed the exasperation painfully evident. _"What I am trying to say- that you can't seem to understand because you're slow- is that you can admit that you aren't perfect. Far from it, actually. But I know my cousin and that's the type of person she needs. Tori's always been a pushover, to kind and caring for her own good. It's about time someone took care of her for a change."_

Scratching my chin with my index finger I blow out a puff of air sadly. "The last thing I would want to do is hurt her. You know that Beck. She means so much to me in the short time I've known her. It's really fucking scary to be honest." I said with a frown. "Am I moving too fast? What if I screw up? Damn it…"

"_If I had all the answers to questions like these, I'd be a millionaire. It isn't a horrible thing to be scared and I'm sure she's freaking out just as much as you are. You're going to catch a flight tomorrow so you can go visit your mom right?" _

"Yeah…"

"_Well, Tori will be at the apartment when you get back so try and figure out what you want when she's not around. I know you're stressing out about seeing your mom but maybe it'll screw your head on right and knock some sense into you." _

But I knew what I wanted; Tori. Those warm, brown eyes that gazed with such kindness and sincerity, full lips that quivered through a melody and quirked up in happiness and that beautiful, sun-kissed skin that looked so soft; begging to be caressed. A sharp nip brought me out of my trance and I noticed that my teeth were digging into the flesh of my bottom lip. Ow.

"Alright Oliver, seems that I'll be taking your advice. See you when I get back!"

"_Wait one damn second!"_

"Uh… yeah?"

"_Is there a reason that I got an 'unknown number' yesterday and it just so happened to be Aly?" _I sucked in a deep breath dumbly and grabbed a handful of snow, crunching it over the speaker.

"Can't, losin- ignal. Bye- eck." I hung up the phone and stood up to pat my damp jeans. The walk back to Vega's place was short but I had underestimated how long I was out because the second I was in the vicinity a snowball hit me square in the face.

"You've been gone two hours!" Tori held up her fingers dramatically. "Two! Here I am, worried sick about you and, and, and—"She threw another snowball at me. "I hate you!"

Wiping off some of the snow from my face, "no you don't." I dodged another hit as I scowled. "Will you quit it? I am trying to be civil and you're throwing chunks of ice in my face."

"Maybe you deserve chunks of ice being thrown at your stupid face!" She squeaked indignantly.

My hands moved to my face, "my face is not stupid. Your face is stupid!" I bent down and made a nice ball before hurtling it at her head, grinning when it hit her between the eyes. She yelped and ran down her porch steps, scooping up some snow and throwing it aggressively. I dodged it at the last second and tackled her to the ground, my warm breath making any appearance as I pinned her down. "Stop it!"

Tori squirmed under me, "no. I don't want to." Her bottom lip quivering as tears formed around her eyes and I felt my grip loosen.

"Tori," I breathed out guiltily. "Does it make you feel better; throwing things at me?"

"Yes it does. Because it hurts you." She mumbled defeated. It hurts me? Physically yes but it's as if she's implying…

I halted the traitorous thought and instead frowned at the girl below me. "You want to hurt me? Why? If this is about my absence, I came back." 'Like I always will when pertaining to you' I thought sadly.

The scowl on her face deepened; brown eyes narrowing and lips pursing in pensive anger. "It isn't about that Jade!" Tori shouted, head propping up.

I sneered threateningly; teeth gnawing on my tongue as I held back a string of curses. "Why don't you tell me what _you _want?" I shot back. The girl was giving me emotional whiplash with her mixed signals and crazy mood swings. If she could just give me a nudge in the right direction, tell me where the hell she wanted with- whatever the hell this friendship/relationship was- I'd be able to do something right by it. Except here I was running around blindfolded in a minefield with absolutely no instructions as to where to go.

I expected for her to push me off, throw me on the ground and yell at me, cursing my name and shouting at how much she loathed me. Tori had other plans. She crashed her lips on mine; hesitance, fear and apprehension pouring from her as she pressed them more roughly. We were a clash of teeth, lips and tongue especially when I couldn't control myself and chose to suck hers into mine. Our kiss was angry, fueled by unsaid words and an abundance of anxiety and plain unadulterated need. Tori tasted like Christmas cookies and snow (did snow have a flavor?). And dear god, I should've pulled back, demanded answers, pushed her away, just done something instead of kissing her back eagerly.

I was promptly pushed off by tan arms, "look at that. You finally got what you wanted." Tori hissed over me, pushing herself up and running back into the house. I felt hopeless, defeated, destroyed and so, so empty when I had registered her words. Tori had done an emotional pivot and I could only take the blow with a masochistic pleasure.

…

"We're going to miss you." Holly croaked out. "Without you," she glanced at a drowsy but healthier looking David. "He wouldn't be here. At least not this soon." I smiled and gave her a lazy shrug which she quickly responded by crushing me into a hug.

"Jadey," I scowled at the nickname and shook my head. David Vega was the epitome of a sitcom dad with his lame jokes and warm gestures. "I'll be sure to see you around soon." He said knowingly, a small wink directed at my blank face.

Trina was next. She looked absolutely bored with her eyes flickering over the scene. "Well Jade, it was a real hub-a-lub to meet you. Hope your plane doesn't crash."

"You're a delightful human being, did you know that?"

She smiled. "Duh."

The three of them waved and headed to the exit of the airport, occasionally glancing my way and motioning their heads towards a sullen, cranky Tori. "Can we please talk about what happened?" I murmured pleadingly.

Tori lifted her head; blank indifference coloring her features. "There is nothing to talk about. Nothing happened." A defense mechanism had been constructed overnight and all the walls were poised and polished in full preparation for the words I had said.

I took a step forward. She took one back. "Tori, please, I want to talk about yesterday. You accuse me of running away when I'm the only person saying a word."

The mask faltered ever so slightly, "There is _nothing _to say." She was adamant of course, refusing to acknowledge whatever the hell we were feeling. It was a game, both of us on opposing teams as the clock ticked impatiently above us. The first move; the play that would start the game or give it an early finish.

"You expect me to believe that?"

"_You_ expect _me_ to think that you want more out of this than just a good one night stand?" She shot back, brown eyes half filled with regret and anger.

"I want this." I poured the sincerity into my words as I gave her the tiniest smile I could muster. "I like you Tori. A lot. It's funny, words; the one thing I've always been good with has failed me in every situation we've been in. If there was a way I could convey how much I care about you, how much I would like to explore these feelings; the _infatuation _I feel for _you_. Let me prove to you that I want this, that's all I ask."

A beat.

A pause for breath.

A blink of an eye.

Tori swallowed and bobbed her head, running to me and throwing her arms around my neck. The feeling of hot tears sliding down my neck almost had me wanting to shed a few tears. "Okay." She breathed out, mouth on my shoulder.

"Okay?"

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Jade!"

"Tori!"

A peck on the lips silenced me.

* * *

**IT ONLY TOOK 24 CHAPTERS :B**

**Leave a review beautiful. **

**Leave another one for charming the pants off of you. Don't forget to put them back on. **


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